“Do you think that’s a good idea?” he said. “Gran won’t like it when we spy on her.”
“She’ll never know, Dooley. We’ll simply make sure she doesn’t see us.”
He looked in equal measure excited and terrified at the prospect of spying on our human, but finally his fear of becoming Kingman’s brother and having to go and live with Wilbur decided him.
“All right,” he said. “But only if you promise me that Gran won’t see us.”
“I promise, Dooley,” I said, even though it wasn’t really a promise I could make. Gran has eagle eyes, in spite of her age, and sometimes I think she even has eyes in the back of her head. Still, I wasn’t prepared to listen to Dooley go on and on all night about Gran’s wedding, and this seemed like a good plan to put his mind at ease once and for all.
So we left the others and set a course to downtown Hampton Cove, where we figured Wilbur would have taken Gran.
“I know they were going to see a movie,” said Dooley.
“So that’s where we’ll go first,” I said. “And we’ll see where they went next.”
And so it was arranged: we headed to the Happy Flix movie theater in town, and got there just in time to see people pouring out of the entrance, one of them Gran, and the other her date for the night, silver fox Wilbur Vickery. Though he looked more like a silver dog to me, but then I’m not a woman so what do I know.
We followed the couple as they strolled along the sidewalk, keeping our distance so as not to be noticed, and soon they plotted a course to the boardwalk, where all loved-up couples go when the moon is full and the night is young.
“I don’t like this, Max,” said Dooley. “This looks very romantic. Too romantic!”
He was right. All the couples I saw were holding hands, or seated on wooden benches overlooking the ocean and hugging and kissing and whatnot.
So maybe this wasn’t a good idea at all!
“They’re sitting down, Max!” said Dooley, pointing in the direction of the couple. They now looked as loved-up as the other couples in their vicinity, and I could sense that love was in the air, and soon sparks would fly and morals would get a little loosey-goosey!
“Maybe we should get going,” I said. “Nothing much to see here, just like I told you.”
“I think there’s plenty to see!” said Dooley. “Look, Max, they’re going to kiss!”
And indeed they were. Wilbur had his hands all over Dooley’s human, and was moving in for a kiss. And just as I was ready to cover my friend’s eyes so he wouldn’t have to witness this particularly sordid scene, suddenly Wilbur jerked back with a loud cry of pain, and touched his fingers to his lips for some reason.
The next moment Gran had gotten up from that bench and said something. Then she walked away!
“What’s happening, Max!” Dooley cried. “What’s going on?!”
“Time to find out,” I said, and hurried in the direction of Gran. I caught up with her just as she was starting down the wooden stairs to take a stroll along the beach.
“Gran!” I said. “What happened?!”
“Oh, hey, Max,” she said, and didn’t even look surprised. “I just had the lousiest date in the history of dating, though I did learn a very valuable lesson.”
“And what is that?” I asked, as Dooley joined us.
“That Wilbur is a despicable human being and that maybe, just maybe, I’m too old to date.” Then she sighed and took off her shoes. “Wanna join me for a little stroll?”
Now normally cats aren’t really into the whole strolling thing. That’s more for dogs. And humans, of course. But before I could say ‘Thank you but I’m fine,’ Dooley was already hurrying forward, clearly wanting to be wherever Gran was going tonight.
So I decided to tag along.
“So… when are you and Wilbur getting married, Gran?” asked Dooley nervously as we trudged through the loose sand.
Gran laughed.“Getting married! Oh, Dooley, Dooley. I made that mistake once—I’m not making it again. And definitely not with a turd like Wilbur.”
“A turd?” asked Dooley, glancing back at Wilbur, who was still sitting on his bench, checking his tongue in a pocket mirror for some reason. “He doesn’t look like a turd.”
“Well, he is, Dooley. Some humans may look like humans, but underneath they’re really turds. Another lesson learned.”
“So… Kingman isn’t going to be my brother? And I’m not moving into his house?”
Gran grinned.“Not while I’m around, Dooley, and I can tell you I plan to stick around for a very long time to come.”
Dooley let out a curt yelp, then his lip started trembling, and the next moment… he was bawling like a baby!
“Oh, honey,” said Gran, and picked up my friend for a hug. “You should have told me you were so worried.”
“I don’t want to move away from home, Gran,” said Dooley between sniffs. “I like my home. And my friends. And my family.”
“I do, too, honey. And I’m never moving out. Whatever that crazy son-in-law of mine says.” She cut a quick look to me and I smiled. Apparently Tex wasn’t as good at hiding his intentions as he thought. He’d be disappointed when the news came that Gran wasn’t getting married after all.