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She turned to face him in the semi-darkness.“Sometimes when a man does… certain things to a woman, it causes her to get emotional. I cried my eyes out my first time. And it wasn’t because I was sad, I can tell you that.”

“Oh,” said Chase.

“Yeah.”

“So… do you still think it’s a good idea for your dad to examine Randy in the morning? If he gets wind that his wife is having an affair with the guy, he might want to inject him with a deadly poison himself.”

“I’ll try to feel him out over breakfast. See how much he knows, or suspects. But if I know my dad, he doesn’t suspect a thing.”

“Poor guy. Hard to compete with a fitness legend and global celebrity like Ran-Ran.”

“Ran-Ran?”

“He told me to call him Ran-Ran.”

She grinned.“You haven’t by any chance been crying in his arms too, have you, babe?”

She could see that he was smiling now.“No. Not exactly. Though I had the impression he wouldn’t have minded crying in my arms. How wrong I was, huh?”

[Êàðòèíêà: img_3]

“I don’t get it, Max. We came home together last night, and went to sleep as usual, at the foot of Marge and Tex’s bed, only this morning when I woke up—he was gone!”

Harriet looked in quite a state as she told Dooley and me her tale of woe. We were in Odelia’s backyard, enjoying those early rays the sun likes to dispense to early birds catching early worms—though I’d never want to be seen catching a worm, mind you.

“Did you look everywhere?” I asked.

“I did. I looked all over the place. He simply disappeared. I don’t get it. He’s never done a thing like this before. Ever. Well, except yesterday, when he went for a walk.”

“What about his pet turtle?” I asked. “Maybe she knows where Brutus is.”

“That’s the thing: his turtle is gone, too. Looks like they went off together again, and this time Gran didn’t take them to the beach.” She looked distraught, and I felt for her.

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon,” I assured her. “He probably woke up early and went for a walk again.”

“He did say something strange yesterday, remember? He said he wanted to help Pinkie free her friends from the pond they were being kept in. I dismissed it at the time, figuring it was just something he said to make this Pinkie creature feel better. But now I’m not so sure.” She gave me a thoughtful look. “What if he really did go off with Pinkie, to help her free her friends? And what if he got himself in trouble in the process?”

“How do you free a turtle from a pond?” asked Dooley. “Don’t they like it at the pond?”

“Yeah, that’s what I don’t understand either,” Harriet intimated. “Turtles live in ponds, don’t they? So why would they need to be freed? And it’s not as if ponds have doors and locks and stuff. It’s more an open-door kind of deal I would think.” She sighed. “I don’t know what’s going on here lately. First Gran getting married and taking Dooley along with her to go and live with that awful Wilbur Vickery, and now Brutus going on some weird turtle rescue operation. Not to mention this fitness guy about to die in Odelia’s home—and Marge having an affair with the man ontop of everything else!”

We both stared at our friend.

“Is Marge having an affair with Randy Hancock?” I asked, more than a little surprised.

“I overheard Chase and Odelia talk about it just now. They were talking quietly, and Odelia sounded upset about the whole thing. Apparently Chase caught them last night, naked in Randy’s bed.”

“Oh, my God!” I said.

“Oh, no!” said Dooley.

“I guess Randy must have seduced her with his fatal charm,” said Harriet. “You know what celebrities are like. If George Clooney suddenly turned up at the house, saying he only had three more days to live, Marge would probably throw herself into his arms, too. Or Brad Pitt, or Chris Hemsworth. An ordinary guy like Tex doesn’t stand a chance.”

“Poor Marge,” said Dooley. “Seduced by a dying fitness guru.”

“Poor Tex!” I said. “They’ll probably get a divorce now, and Marge will go and live with Randy in his celebrity mansion.”

“If he lives,” Dooley said.

We shared a meaningful look, the three of us.“So what if Randy doesn’t live?” said Harriet, putting into words what we were all thinking. “It would save Marge’s marriage. Sure, she’d be sad for a while, and mourn the death of her hot lover. But in time she’d get over him, and her marriage would be saved.”

“We can’t wish for Randy to die, though,” I said. “It’s not ethical, you guys. He’s a human being, and deserves to live.”

“Marge deserves to be saved from his fatal charm!” said Harriet.

“That’s true,” I admitted.

“So… if Marge moves out, does that mean you move out, too, Harriet?” asked Dooley.

Harriet gave him a startled look.“I hadn’t even thought of that! You guys, I don’t want to move out and go and live with Randy Hancock! I really, really don’t!”

“What’s all this about you coming to live with me?” suddenly spoke the deep, booming voice of Lil Ran. I hadn’t seen him there, sunning behind a nearby tree, but clearly he had seen us—and heard us, too!

“How much have you heard?” I asked.