Cat In An Alien X-Ray

“Yeah, there is a definite army green vibe to your roommate’s health food of choice. Have you ever tried putting some of it in her half-used cereal boxes and forcing her to face the stuff first thing in the morning?”

“I would never subject my Miss Temple to such a dirty trick.

“Although, Louise … maybe it would banish Free-to-Be-Feline forever. I would have to make it look like Miss Temple had mixed up the bag and the box contents. That could be done if I woke her up earlier than usual in the morning with one of my purr-massage-love-rub sessions.…

“She would stumble into the kitchen half-asleep and—presto!—Free-to-Be-Feline in her bowl, with low-fat milk.

“No, I cannot do that to low-fat milk.”

“Anyway, Pops, I am not here to discuss cuisine.”

“No kidding. What hair-brained scheme are you laying on me now?”

“We need to break into the coroner’s office on Pinto Lane.”

“What!? Are you crazy? Do not answer. That was a rhetorical question. Louise, the facility will be screwed down tighter than a rusty bolt with all these Alien nut jobs in town. Everybody from paparazzi to amateur bloggers wants to break in to eyeball and photograph The Hunk Who Fell to Earth. At the moment, he is more popular than Elvis. And that is going some in Las Vegas.

“Do they fret about me? Are they worried about my delicate limbs being broken, along with my shivs? Am I on their cell phone and camcorder films? No. I am just a dust mite in a media-mad world, a tiny Cinderfella at the ball. An unsung hero.”

“Yeah, yeah. Fame is fleeting, also YouTube hits. I am telling you. This is serious. I was there when you fell—”

“You were? I did not see you rushing up to succor me.”

“Hah. I was busy rushing up to the falling body once it hit the dirt, before any curious onlookers got a glimpse of it.”

“So some dead human is more important than your supposed old man. I am really glad we are not related now.”

“That is your unlikely story.”

Louise can be merciless, but she is the female of the species. Bloodthirsty. Her mind is back on the corpse. She mews on. “I cannot say for sure—unless I inspect the body in the morgue. But…”

Females are ferocious hunters and killers, did I mention that? Forget the cliché of them quailing at violence and mayhem.