The Secret to Success

I thought changing my circle of influence had improved my life. Then I was exposed to the environment that made Bob into the person he was. The crazy thing is that my growth had nothing to do with the church itself. My growth was connected to the environment the church produced. The church was only a tiny little storefront church on Puritan and Ward with less than 100 members, but sometimes looks can be deceiving; bigger is not necessarily better. The Detroit Center Church created the type of environment that could reform the most rebellious, immature, and misguided young person in the entire world. I know what you are thinking. How soon can I pack my bags, turn in my two weeks notice and relocate to the West Side of Detroit? There is no need to go to such drastic measures. I am going to share the top 4 methods the Detroit Center Church used to help reform my life and prepare me for greatness.

Principle 8: The right environment is pivotal to your success; embrace environments that positively contribute to your growth.

It hurts just thinking about that Final Four game. It was the NCAA road to the Final Four. Sixty-four teams entered the tournament and somehow they managed to survive and compete for the National Title. It was a nail biting experience, and with less than 13 seconds on the clock they were in striking distance. My team’s opponent missed the free throw, the ball hit the back of the rim and my team got the rebound and headed down the court. Once they passed half court the forward dribbled the ball in the corner to set up a play and got double-teamed. With no play open and no help on the backside his instincts kicked in and he called a timeout. As he called the timeout, he realized there were no timeouts left. The ref called a technical foul and with less than 13 seconds on the clock, the other team went to the free throw line to shoot two free throws and won the game. The Fab Five stood on the court in shock as they suffered their second defeat 77 to 71 in the 1993 NCAA finals. I could see the look of disappointment on the face of Chris Weber as he walked off the court. I have never had the privilege of personally meeting Weber, Jalen Rose (whom I named my son after), or any the other members of the Fab Five, but trust me when I say I can relate to the pain Weber felt when falling short of his goal when it was only a few inches away.

Years before Weber ever stepped on the court, I was given a golden opportunity. It was the fall of 1987, on the west side of Detroit. It began like any other random church service. There were a ton of preliminaries, an A and B selection from the choir, and the pastor spoke. Everything was copasetic until the end of his message. I swear he started staring and preaching directly at me as if there were no other members in the church.

“The Lord admonishes us to forgive our debtors as He has forgiven us of our debts. Forgiveness is not a feeling, but it is a command. God is not offering you a pardon, a stay or a pass when it comes to forgiveness.”, he pressed. “We must all be willing, as He has been, to forgive our neighbors. Regardless of the pain we have suffered at the hands of our enemy, no matter the offense, we must free ourselves.”

He stated with a convicting voice, “I know first- hand what it’s like to have an opportunity, to be so close to getting over the hump, but somehow falling short right at the end.” I was listening attentively when the pastor got to the part about forgiveness—the part about freeing your enemy so you could free yourself. The way he said it struck a nerve. Forgiveness was so far in the back of my mind, and so was that incident. I hadn’t thought about the incident since I left. But when he said, “In order to hold someone down, you must stay down with them.” That one statement alone knocked the wind out of me. Was he suggesting that my success was somehow connected to my willingness to surrender my anger and forgive her for what she did to me?