08 A Little Hatred: Book One (The Age of Madness)

‘Commander o’ the army, no less. There was an ambush, and I happened to be there, and, well …’ He realised he’d bunched his fists trembling tight again and forced them open. ‘He thought I’d saved him. But I had to admit I’d no clue who he was till after the business was done, since I couldn’t see further than five strides. So he got me these as a gift.’ He took the lenses off, and breathed on them, and wiped them carefully with the hem of his shirt. ‘Probably cost six months of a soldier’s pay. Miracle o’ the modern age.’ And he hooked them back over his ears, and into the familiar groove across the bridge of his nose. ‘But I’m grateful, ’cause now I can appreciate my daughter’s beauty even halfway across the yard.’

‘Beauty.’ And she gave a scornful snort but looked just a bit pleased at the same time. The sun broke through and was warm on Broad’s smile, and for a moment it was like it had been before. As if he never went.

‘So you fought, then?’

Broad’s mouth felt dry of a sudden. ‘I fought.’

‘What was it like?’

‘Well …’ All that time spent dreaming of her face and now she was looking right at him, it was hard to meet her eye. ‘It was bad.’

‘I tell everyone my father’s a hero.’

Broad winced. The clouds shifted and cast the yard into shadow, and the dread was at his shoulder again. ‘Don’t tell ’em that.’

‘What should I tell ’em?’

He frowned down at his aching hands, rubbed at one with the other. ‘Not that.’

‘What do the marks mean?’

Broad tried to twitch his shirt cuff down over the Ladderman’s tattoo, but the blue stars on his knuckles still showed. ‘Just something the boys I was with did.’ And he slipped his hand behind him. Where May couldn’t see it. Where he didn’t have to.

‘But—’

‘Enough questions,’ said Liddy, stepping out onto the porch. ‘Your father just got back.’

‘And I’ve got plenty to do,’ he said, standing. They must’ve been working hard to keep the house presentable, but it was too much for three, let alone two, looked like it was crumbling back into the land. ‘Must be half a dozen leaks to mend.’

‘Be careful. Put your weight on the roof, I’ve a feeling the whole house might fall down.’

‘Wouldn’t be surprised. I’ll check on our flock first, though. I hear the price for wool’s never better, what with all these new mills. They up the valley?’

May blinked over at her mother, and Liddy gave an odd kind of grimace, and Broad felt that dread pressing on him all the heavier. ‘What is it?’

‘We don’t have a flock no more, Gunnar.’

‘What?’

‘I wanted to give you a proper night’s sleep without having to worry.’ Liddy heaved up a sigh seemed to come right from her worn shoes. ‘Lord Isher fenced the valley in. Said we couldn’t graze there any more.’

Broad hardly understood what she was saying. ‘The valley’s common land. Always has been.’

‘Not any more. King’s edict. It’s happening all over. Next valley, too. We had to sell the flock to him.’

‘We had to sell him our sheep so he could graze ’em on our land?’

‘He gave us a good price. Some lords didn’t give their tenants that much.’

‘So I get fucked when I go to war and I get fucked when I come back?’ he snarled. The voice hardly sounded like his. ‘You didn’t … do anything?’

Liddy’s eyes were hard. ‘I couldn’t think of anything to do. Maybe you could’ve, but you weren’t here.’

‘None o’ this works without a flock!’ His father had raised sheep, and his grandfather, and his grandfather’s grandfather. Felt like the whole world had come unravelled. ‘What’ll we do?’ He found he’d clenched his fists again. He was shouting but he couldn’t stop. ‘What’ll we do?’

And he saw May’s lip trembling like she was about to cry, and Liddy put an arm around her, and all the anger drained out of him and left him cold and desperate.

‘I’m sorry.’ He’d sworn never to lose his temper again. Sworn he’d live for the two of them, give them a good life, and he’d fucked it up a few hours through the door. ‘I’m sorry.’ He took a step towards them, lifting a hand, then saw the tattoos on the knuckles and jerked it back.

Liddy spoke soft and steady, looking him in the eye. ‘We’ve no choice, Gunnar. Isher offered to buy us out and we’ve got to go. Valbeck, I was thinking. There’s work in Valbeck. In the new mills.’

Broad could only stare at her. And in the silence, he heard the sound of horses, and turned towards the track.

There were three men coming up it. Coming slow, like they had all day to get there. One on a big chestnut. Two on a wagon with a creaky wheel. Gunnar recognised the driver. Lennart Seldom, the miller’s younger brother. Broad had always reckoned him a coward and there was nothing in his shifty squint now to change his opinion.

‘It’s Lennart Seldom,’ he muttered.

‘It is,’ said Liddy. ‘May, get inside.’

‘But Ma—’

‘Inside.’