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“I don’t get it,” said Odelia. “Why would anyone kidnap my uncle? He’s not rich, he doesn’t own any property, and as far as I can tell he doesn’t have any enemies.”

“Are you sure about that?” asked Chase. “As a policeman he must have made some enemies over the course of his career.”

“Well, sure,” said Odelia. “But so have you. So has any cop on the force. So why him?”

Just then, the big fly who’d been annoying me to no end came buzzing in through the open window, and settled down on the couch seat next to me. “Max, I have some excellent pieces of intelligence for you,” the fly announced.

“That’s great,” I said, and if I was a little distracted it was because I was more interested in what Odelia and Chase were discussing with the Mayor than anything this fat fly had to offer.

“Don’t you want to know what I discovered?” asked the fly, sounding disappointed.

“Yeah, the thing is—my human’s uncle has just been kidnapped,” I explained. “So we’re a little busy right now, Mr.… what’s your name exactly?”

“Norm,” said the fly.

“Great. Now if maybe you could come back a little later, that would be—”

“They’re going to try and stop the wedding!” Norm blurted out.

“What wedding? What are you talking about?” I said, and it was a testament to my distress that I’d completely forgotten about the upcoming wedding, spectacularly revealed in that morning’s Gazette.

“Your Uncle Alec and the Mayor,” said Norm. “Grandma Muffin and her friend Scarlett are going to stop the wedding any way they can. But first they’re going to spy on Charlene—bug her house, her office, her car… Looks like they’ll bug the works. And can I just say I object to this word‘bug?’ It just seems unnecessarily derogatory and offensive.”

I stared at the fly, and so did my friends.

“Who is your new buddy, Max?” asked Brutus.

“Oh, this is Norm,” I said. “Norm, meet Harriet, Brutus and Dooley, my friends and housemates.”

“Hi, Norm,” said Brutus. “I didn’t even know flies could talk.”

“Oh, we can talk all right,” said Norm. “Now if you still want me to carry on with my mission I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you for some form of remuneration, Max. I can’t keep working gratis, you know. I may just be a fly, but I still have my standards.”

“Remuneration?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

“Food, Max!” said the large fly. “Nourishment!”

“Oh-kay,” I said, a little reluctantly. “So what do you want?”

The fly hovered up and down, then said,“A sample of your stool would be nice.”

“Deal,” I said quickly. It seemed like a small sacrifice to make to ask Odelia not to clean out our litter box until Norm had done his sampling.

“Did you just say you want our stool, Norm?” asked Dooley.

“Sure. Like it or not, but it’s one of my main sources of nourishment, little buddy. Now what do you want me to do, Max? In other words: what’s my next assignment?”

“But… stool is dirty!” said Dooley. “Stool is not to be sampled but thrown out!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, buddy,” said the fly. “As the saying goes: one man’s stool is another man’s gourmet meal.”

I was pretty sure the saying didn’t exactly go like that, but I was already happy we could avail of Norm’s compound eyes and his sharp ears, especially now that we were suddenly faced with a family crisis of epic proportions.

“Look, Uncle Alec has been kidnapped,” I told the fly. “So whatever you can find out that will lead us to the kidnappers, that would be wonderful, Norm. Anything at all.”

“Gotcha, Max!” said the fly excitedly. “I’m on it!” And promptly he buzzed off again.

I noticed how Harriet was staring at me, her mouth slightly agape.“Did you just conduct an entire conversation… with a dung fly, Max?” she asked.

“I’m not sure he’s a dung fly,” I said, staring after Norm. “He could just be a housefly.”

“Answer the question!”

“Why, yes, I guess I did,” I admitted. “Norm is good people, Harriet. And I’m sure he’ll find out what we need to know about this kidnapping business. Plus, he’s cheap. Who else will investigate a case in exchange for a little bit of poo, if you see what I mean.”

“I don’t believe this,” said Harriet. “Just when you think you’ve seen it all…”

Chapter 7

“My poor brother!” said Mom. “We have to call in the FBI, the army—the National Guard!”

“We’re not calling anyone,” said Odelia decidedly. “We don’t want to endanger my uncle’s life.”

“But—”

“It’s best if we do as the kidnappers say, honey,” said Dad, placing a soothing hand on his wife’s arm.

They were all seated around the living room table, a table rarely used, as Odelia and Chase liked to eat their meals at the kitchen counter. Odelia and Chase were there, of course, and so were Odelia’s mom and dad, and also Charlene. Gran wasn’t present, nor did they want her to be. They’d immediately decided that given the old lady’s age and attachment to her son it was best not to tell her what had happened to her dear Alec.

“So what do we do now?” asked Dad, directing his question at Charlene. “Did they give you any more instructions, apart from that wedding announcement?”