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46. PURRFECT DOUBLE

Chapter 1

The Karat GroupÆs annual shareholdersÆ meeting didnÆt exactly go as planned. The shareholders were all there, and so was the chairman of the board, Diedrich Karat, but the star of the show was of course current CEO Cotton Karat. Or at least he should have been, as he was expected to lead the meeting and discuss both the groupÆs past yearÆs financial results as well as future expected earnings and projections. Instead, all he seemed interested in was to salivating over his new girlfriend, the delectable Ebony Pilay.

Many a shareholder, from the lowliest ones, with only a few Karat Group shares in their investment portfolio, to the biggest specimens, proud to own a large chunk of the company, was stunned as the meeting progressed, and the groupÆs current leader couldnÆt keep his eyes or his hands off his supermodel girlfriend. The fact alone that heÆd placed her center stage for this all-important event was a blatant departure from tradition.

As far as the collected shareholders, and the denizens of the financial press were aware, Ebony Pilay, though a well-known fashion model, owned no Karat Group shares, nor did she play any part in the groupÆs organizational structure. She wasnÆt a CEO, CFO, COO or any of the other acronyms one often sees bandied about in theWall Street Journal. Her only claim to that most coveted position next to the CEO was that she was his girlfriend. And Cotton Karat, the third scion of the Karat family to lead the luxury goods group, made sure no one could forget it. Lovey-dovey was one way to describe the scene.

It led to several members of the press corps to titter without inhibition, which was a strange spectacle to be sure. Usually the dreariest of journos, absolutely devoid of a sense of humor, and only perking up when being asked to write about interest rates or the price-to-earnings ratio, they now behaved as if they were all writing for theNational Enquirer, ears red and eyes glittering with glee at this awful train wreck in progress.

Diedrich Karat, CottonÆs dad and the groupÆs previous CEO, looked as if he was barely hanging on to his equanimity. HeÆd already engaged in a bout of furious whisperings with the groupÆs legal advisor Tobias Pushman, but what could they do? They couldnÆt berate Cotton in public, or frogmarch his girlfriend offthe stage. The rest of the groupÆs main players, all gathered on that stage, seemed to have accepted their role in the drama, and adopted a policy of grinning and bearing it and trying to act as if this was the most natural thing in the world, and not a complete meltdown of one of the countryÆsbiggest concerns.

The Karat GroupÆs stock was trading at a thousand dollars a share at the start of the meeting. By the time the meeting finally adjourned, the stock had dropped to five hundred a share. One hundred billion dollars in value had been erased from the market cap. In other words: the single-largest drop in share price since the crash of 2001.

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ôHave you completely lost your mind?!ö

ôItÆs just a dip, Dad,ö Cotton said.

ôA dip? A DIP?!ö

Tobias Pushman, the groupÆs legal beagle, gave his former boss and current chairman of the board a look of concern. DiedrichÆs face had turned the color of a ripe tomato. Drops of sweat were beading the manÆs brow and skipping down his temples, and his hair was matted to his sizable dome. If his blood pressure kept rising, a coronary was a given.

ôSir, I think you better sit down,ö Tobias suggested.

ôI wonÆt sit down until this matter is resolved and resolved to my satisfaction!ö Diedrich thundered, swinging his arms dangerously. ôDo you realize what youÆve done? YouÆve singlehandedly wrecked the group! Reduced us to a Wall Street laughingstock!ö

ôYouÆre exaggerating, Dad,ö said Cotton, whoÆd placed his sneakered feet up on his desk and was throwing a stress ball into the air with his left hand and deftly catching it with his right. ôSo the stock dropped a couple of points. ItÆll self-correct. YouÆll see.ö

ôIt wonÆt self-correct,ö said Diedrich, shaking with righteous anger at so much ignorance. ôIt will self-destruct if you keep fornicating with thisà thisà this Jezebel!ö

ôHey, Ebony is a highly respected and extremely successful model, Dad. TwentyVogue covers and counting. And we werenÆt fornicating. We were merely displaying our mutual affection.ö

ôItÆs not done, son! You canÆt organize a petting session at the annual shareholdersÆ meeting!ö

ôItÆs not a good look,ö Tobias agreed.

Diedrich threw a copy of theWall Street Journal onto his sonÆs desk. The headline screamed, æCotton Kills Karat.Æ ôIf you keep this up, weÆre toast, Cotton. Toast!ö

ôIÆm sure itÆs not as bad as all that,ö Cotton tut-tutted.

ôItÆs worse! TheyÆre predicting weÆll be ripe for a hostile takeover bid before the end of the next fiscal quarter. Our shareholders are all threatening to sue!ö