3 is not a Crowd

“The whole situation,” I said. I was very close to either tears or laughter, I don’t know which. Maybe both. “The whole situation with you and Peggy and me, the whole screwed up situation, I just don’t know what to do.”

“Listen,” he said, “I know about you and Peggy.”

I looked at him. I thought maybe he meant that he knew we were close emotionally and that was why I was uptight. But he clarified it.

“I know what you are to each other,” he said. “Peggy told me everything. And it doesn’t bother me. I want you to know that; it doesn’t bother me, in fact I’m glad.”

Well, of course he was saying that he knew Peggy and I had had a thing in college, but the timing of it all, I interpreted it as meaning that sometime between last night and now Peggy had told him that we had knocked off a piece, and I was just staggered. I couldn’t believe it.

I said, “She told you?” And he nodded. “And you don’t mind?” No, he said, he didn’t mind.

“And now I’m going to make love to you,” he said.

And he did just that. We found a nice shady spot under a tree, with soft grass on the ground, and we fucked each other almost into a coma.

Afterward I said, “And now I suppose you’ll tell Peggy about this.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “She wouldn’t understand.”

“But she told you about last night.”

He misunderstood. “I didn’t say anything about last night,” he said. “All I did last night was kiss you, and what makes you think I said anything to her?”

“No,” I said brilliantly, “I mean she told you that she and I made love last night... you just said so, so I was just wondering if you would tell her—”

JERRY: My reaction must have been worth filming. It was really as strange a conversation as I’ve ever had. I wish I had it on tape.

KAY: I’m just as glad you don’t.

JERRY: The whole scene was really strange.

PEGGY: I’m sorry I missed it.

KAY: Oh, you’d have loved it.

PEGGY: I’m not generally psychic, but occasionally I do get flashes. I think I was doing something creative, like the dishes, when they went for their walk in the woods. Yes, I was doing the dishes, because I remember loading up the dishwasher and suddenly getting this certain thought that the two of them were going to screw in the woods. I hadn’t even considered this possibility before but all at once I just knew it.

So when they got back to the house I was looking for this, and the way they behaved, the whole attitude, I became quite certain.

And I was glad. That was the surprising thing, that my immediate feeling was joy. I was glad because it would be good for both of them, she needed a man who wouldn’t exploit her, she needed a safe and healthy relationship with a man, and Jerry obviously needed something more than he had with me. And also of course this took away the guilt I might have had for making love with Kay. I can’t explain or pin down all of the feelings I had, but I know that if I had speculated on this in advance I would have thought that I would be very jealous, and actually there was no jealousy at all.

When I saw them, I looked at one of them and then at the other and then I went over to Kay and kissed her on the cheek and said something like, “Poor baby, you’re really leading an active life all of a sudden, aren’t you?”

KAY: I wanted to die. I said, “Oh, Peggy, don’t hate me, we couldn’t help it.”

PEGGY: I said, “Hate you? But I love you, I love both of you.”

JERRY: And we spent hours talking it out, really opening up to each other. At first Kay was convinced she would have to go away, have to leave us. It’s hard to get past your conditioning. But gradually it worked out as we opened up to each other. The thing of it is that each of us wanted a three-way relationship. I loved both of these girls and wanted them both and was delighted that they were having each other, delighted and more than a little turned on by the whole number. Peggy was glad I was the man in Kay’s life and wanted to go on sleeping with Kay herself as well. And Kay loved us both and wanted to go on being part of our family.

KAY: Families that ball together are all together.

JERRY: Right on. So we all wanted this, but the problem was realizing that everybody else wanted it, too. Once we opened up and saw where we were all at, there was really no problem left. All we had to do was keep on keeping on.

PEGGY: The one thing that took a little time happening was for us all to wind up in the same bed at the same time. At first we had a mixed-up scene in which two of us would go off together while the third one read a book or went for a walk. Which was ridiculous but which I would say was also understandable.