3 is not a Crowd

PETER: Just as she was supposed to envy me my penis, I was supposed to be vaguely disappointed that she didn’t have one. I don’t remember any such disappointment. The theory is that a little boy looks at a little girl and is distressed to find nothing there. I don’t know where these people have been, but when I look at the juncture of a girl’s legs I don’t see nothing. I see something quite charming. A female pubis is certainly remarkable for more reasons than the absence of a penis. I found Wanda quite fascinating in that respect.

WANDA: He used to put his little finger in.

PETER: I would wash it for her when we bathed. I strongly recommend this, by the way. We were quite the cleanest little children on earth, and our genitals absolutely squeaked with cleanliness. It was no trouble getting us into the tub. I remember bathing as quite the best part of childhood.

I was eight and Wanda nine when we first began to have intercourse. A surprising number of people find this difficult to believe. I’m damned if I know why. Boys that age get erections all the time. It may be small, but it gets stiff enough, and one wouldn’t want it too big if one were going to put it into a nine-year-old girl, would one?

Wanda initiated it. I was in my room and she came in and said she had found out how people made babies. We had both had a vague idea but it was rather confused. I seem to remember the belief that there was urination involved, the male was supposed to urinate into the vagina.

WANDA: Which can be great fun, but has little to do with having babies.

PETER: She explained that she had to lie down and open her legs and I was to get on top of her and put my pee-pee into her — what did we used to call your cunt?

WANDA: I think we called mine a pee-pee, too.

PETER: Had to put my pee-pee into her pee-pee — I’m sure we had a special name for yours and I wish to hell I could remember what it was — and that then she would have a baby. So I thought it would be a great idea to try it, and she got undressed and stretched out in my bed and opened her legs, and I got on top of her, and I didn’t have an erection and couldn’t get it in.

WANDA: It was like trying to thread a needle with a strand of cooked spaghetti.

PETER: Isn’t she charming? It was oddly frustrating. We knew we were doing something wrong, leaving something out, but couldn’t imagine what. I used to get erections all the time—

WANDA: I’m sure he was born with one.

PETER: It’s possible, you know. You’re joking, but babies are born with erections all the time.

GRACE: All the time?

PETER: Frequently, idiot. I got them when Wanda and I had sex play, or when I had to urinate, or riding in a fast car. All manner of things get a little boy hard.

WANDA: Including little girls.

PETER: Including little girls. So I was used to having erections, and I knew that it felt better to have an erection than not, and that it felt particularly good when I was hard when Wanda played with me. But it didn’t seem to occur to either of us that an erection would facilitate this baby-making which we were trying to accomplish.

We squirmed around for quite some time, and it felt very nice, but I couldn’t get inside of her. Then we gave it up and lay there talking, trying to figure out what was wrong. We were lying side by side, and Wanda put her hand on my penis and just held it gently, giving it a sisterly squeeze now and then, and you shouldn’t be too astonished to hear that it became erect in due course.

It was like Archimedes in the bloody bathtub. All of a sudden I realized what we had left out. “I think it’ll go in now,” I told her, and of course she was anxious to try it.

But it wouldn’t quite, because Wanda was tight and dry and said it was hurting her. We figured out that maybe it would be easier if we wet my pee-pee, so she put spit on her hands and wet my penis, which felt quite divine. Then we tried again, and it went right into her.

Well, it was absolutely unbelievable. Quite a difference between this and a soapy hand in the bathtub. It was just incredibly sensational.

Wanda’s store of information didn’t include the fact that I was supposed to work it in and out and in and out, but I seemed to know this instinctively. I did this, and Wanda wiggled her little tail as if she had been doing this all her life, and after not too long had a climax. I was too young to be producing any sperm, but I definitely ejaculated. Seminal fluid, I suppose it was. This was the first time I had ever had an orgasm or an emission.

I didn’t know what it was. I had gathered from what she told me that something came out of the penis during intercourse but I thought it might be urine or something of the sort, and I had no idea that there was this incredibly wonderful feeling involved in the process. I had been delighted enough with the way intercourse felt, but this was an added and wholly unanticipated bonanza.