4c392a139708e5efb30cc267dbb0c768

So when suddenly Princess, the Most Compelling Cat in the World, showed up, along with a troupe of other cats I’d never seen, I felt oddly complacent. In fact I would have told the black cat to ‘bring it on!’ had it not been for my innate sense of self-preservation. Also, that scratch across the left butt cheek still hurt, and I wasn’t looking to turn the other cheek.

“Who are those cats?” asked Harriet as she stared in abject fascination.

And I had to admit that the small troupe of cats looked absolutely amazing.

For one thing, none of them were wearing flea collars, which made them stand out. And for another, they entered the scene with a marked swagger, as if they owned the place. You cannot own a park, of course, but it was obvious nobody had told them.

“Isn’t that…” Dooley said, his voice dying away. “Max, it’s Princess!”

Princess raised her paw.“We come in peace!” she declared, loud enough for the entire gathering to hear. “And we come bearing gifts!” she added, gesturing to her friends.

One by one, the cats stepped to the fore, tapping their chests and introducing themselves.“My name is Princess,” said Princess. “The Most Compelling Cat in the World.”

“My name is Beca, and I’m the Most Attractive Cat in the World,” a fit red cat said.

“I’m Chloe,” said a pretty striped cat. “And I’m the Most Intriguing Cat in the World.”

“I’m Aubrey and I’m the Most Iconic Cat in the World,” said a strapping white cat.

“And I’m Fat Amy, and I’m the Sexiest Cat Alive,” a well-rounded cat said.

“And together we’re the Most Interesting Cats in the World!” Princess yelled.

And suddenly, before our very eyes, the cats started performing the kind of routine one habitually sees on the stage of some Broadway musical. Or in those funnyPitch Perfect movies. They launched into a song-and-dance routine that had us all staring in abject awe.

They started off with a bit of Taylor Swift’sShake it Off, shaking their tails provocatively, flawlessly segued into Beyonc?’sCrazy in Love, synchronized dancing to the beat, then it was on to Gwen Stefani’sHollaback Girl before finishing off with a rousing rendition of Pink’sGet The Party Started, really blowing up the scene, dancing up a storm.

When the show was over, we all blew out a collective gasp of appreciation, then the entire cat choir burst into a loud and raucous applause.

The interesting cat collective stood panting for a moment, basking in the admiration, then took a slight bow, with Princess declaring,“Now it’s time for you guys to blowus away!”

I gulped, and so did some of the other members of cat choir. Truth be told, our repertoire is a little limited. Cat choir isn’t so much about putting on a compelling show but more about giving local cats a chance to shoot the breeze and sniff each other’s butts. And that’s what some of the members now did, approaching the Most Interesting Cats in the World and sniffing their butts. I could have told them this was not a good idea, but some cats can’t be told and need to be shown. A few harsh words and well-aimed lashes of razor-sharp claws later, five cats were racing away into the tree line with their tails between their legs.

“Let’s do what we do best, fellas,” said Kingman. “Let’s sing our anthem!”

We all gave him a bewildered look. Anthem? Did we have an anthem?

But Shanille seemed to have picked up on his cue, for she cried over the hubbub that followed Kingman’s words, “From the top—one and two and three and four!” And proceeded to belt out, “Midnight. Not a sound from the pavement. Has the moon lost her—”

“Has she lost her mind?” asked Harriet next to me. “I can’t sing that.”

Shanille was doing little movements with her paws, dancing in a circle, head and tail held high, just the way they did it in the musicalCats. I’d only seen it once. On YouTube. And it had failed to impress. Though I had to admit I enjoyed Barbra’s version of the hit song.

Other cats soon fell in, caterwauling with absolute abandon, the yowls and ear-splitting screeches lighting up windows all along the streets that lined the park. Soon voices could be heard from neighbors, and next thing we knew the shoes were raining down.

As Dooley dodged one particularly well-aimed shoe, he said,“Don’t these people ever run out of footwear?”

Apparently not. Meanwhile, Shanille was undeterred, and kept giving her moving rendition ofMemory, swaying to the music like a cat under the influence of a powerful narcotic, possibly marijuana or some other hallucinatory substance. Other cats mimicked her movements, turning the performance into something akin to a first-grade school play.

The Most Interesting Cats in the World where mostly unimpressed. Shaking their heads, they decided not to stick around and left the scene before the grand finale, chuckling at the sad show. Looked like the visitors had won this particular competition.