4c392a139708e5efb30cc267dbb0c768

“Oh, please,” I said. “He’s like the guest you don’t want. Like Owen Wilson inYou, Me and Dupree. He looks like an angel but deep down he’s just a spoiled little brat.”

“Maxie, Maxie,” said Brutus now, shaking his head. “How would you feel if Odelia handed you over to some stranger, and you suddenly found yourself having to share another cat’s food, being at the mercy of a human you never met? Huh? Put yourself in his paws for a moment. Have a heart.” Hepatted my chest. “I know it’s in there somewhere.”

That was rich, coming from Brutus. It wasn’t that long ago that he’d been that cat, coming in here with his swagger and his bullying ways. Just like Milo.

“I don’t like him,” I said decidedly. “And there’s nothing you can say that will make me change my mind.” The others were all staring past me, and my heart sank. “He’s right behind me, isn’t he?” They all nodded, and I slowly turned. I was right. Milo was behind me, giving me a sheepish look.

“Some big dude is at the door. I think he’s a cop?”

“Chase Kingsley,” said Brutus knowingly. “He’s my human.”

“Way to go, buddy,” said Milo. “He looks nice.”

“Yeah, I don’t see him all that much,” said Brutus. “I practically live at Odelia’s mom’s these days. They shipped me around for a while but I’ve decided to settle here.”

“I’ll bet you can relate, huh, Milo?” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “Being shipped around from human to human. Ha ha.”

But Milo wasn’t laughing. Instead, he was picking at the couch cover with his nails, his eyelids flickering nervously. “Uh-huh,” he said finally. “That’s right, Max. You got my number, buddy.” And then he promptly turned on his paw and padded off.

“Max!” Harriet said, and directed a reproachful look at me. “You’re so mean!”

“Yeah, you’re behaving like a first-rate bully, Maxie,” said Brutus.

Coming from a former bully of bullies that was the last thing I needed to hear!

Still, I felt a bit bad about the whole situation. No idea why, though, as I knew I was right and Milo was wrong. I mean, he was the intruder and I was the intruded, right?

Chapter 4

The episode of Kit Katt ended and Brutus and Harriet drifted off into the backyard, probably to stare at Grandma while she dug more holes. Cats love to watch humans dig holes. No idea why. Probably so they can pick up a few ideas on skill and technique.

“Hey, buddy,” I said to Dooley. “You’re awfully quiet. Something wrong?”

He shrugged.“Have you ever felt superfluous, Max?”

I was surprised Dooley would even know a big word like that.“What do you mean?”

“I mean that Harriet has Brutus and Brutus has Harriet. You have Odelia and Odelia has you. Even Milo has his human—even though she’s not here right now. But who do I have?”

“You have Grandma,” I said. “And she has you.”

He stared off in the direction of the garden, where Brutus was now giving Grandma a few tips on how to dig a hole by using her hands instead of that silly-looking shovel.“Grandma doesn’t care a hoot about me, Max. In fact I don’t think she ever did.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. Grandma loves you—she loves all of us.”

“No, she doesn’t. You know what she said to me the other day? That I shouldn’t sleep on her feet. She said she’s too old to have cats sleep on her feet. She also pushed me away when I tried to dig my nose into her armpit this morning. Said I was being silly and she was too old for that nonsense.” He shook his head. “I’m telling you, she’s getting ready to take me to the pound, Max. I can feel it in my bones.”

“Now don’t you talk like that, Dooley,” I told him. “That’s crazy talk. Maybe Grandma is acting a little weird lately but that’s just because she’s in a fight with Tex and Marge.”

“She’s in a fight with Tex and Marge and she’s decided she doesn’t want me anymore,” he said sadly.

Grandma had worked for her son-in-law Tex for years and years at Tex’s doctor’s office. But since Tex and Odelia’s mom Marge had protested Grandma’s attempt to move away and go and live with the rich family of her ex-boyfriend Burt Goldsmith, Gran had moved out of their house and into Odelia’s, and now things were very tense all around.

“I’m sure everything will go back to normal soon enough,” I said. “Besides, Odelia is pretty much your human, too, right? She loves you just as much as she loves me.”

“In my experience humans can only love one pet, Max,” said Dooley somberly. “And since she already has you, there’s no room in her heart for anyone else.” He sighed deeply. “No, looks like I’m humanless.” Then he cast a forlorn look at me. “At least I still have you, Max. You’remy best friend, and you’ll never leave me, right?”

“Of course I’ll never leave you,” I said, rubbing my friend’s noggin with my furry knuckles. “Best friends forever, right?”

“Right,” he said, a glimmer of hope lighting up his features. “So you won’t mind if I permanently move in with you?”