A Baumgartner reunion

I floated in the warm water, closing my eyes and trying to block out my thoughts. But I was alone with them, and they were insistent. I couldn’t help but wonder what might happen this week-or next, when TJ finally arrived. Mr. and Mrs. B’s lifestyle clearly hadn’t changed, and Gretchen… I remembered the way she looked at me, the comment she had made about Doc still “making a great sandwich.” I knew all I had to do was ask-not even ask-just hinting or suggesting an interest would be enough to get the ball rolling.

I remembered the excitement in TJ’s eyes when I talked about a threesome and I knew he wanted it. Maybe… I sighed, rolling my head around the back of the tub. I knew TJ loved me. I knew he wasn’t going anywhere-he’d said so. What was I so afraid of? Opportunities like this one didn’t present themselves every day. Maybe, I reasoned, we should just take advantage of it this once. Part of me believed that it might be enough to just… get it out of his system. Then we could go back to the way we were.

But could we?

The idea of opening my marriage scared the hell out of me, although I didn’t want to admit it. Being part of a threesome, the way things had happened with Mr. and Mrs. B… it was different. I was young and single. I’d had nothing to lose then. Who was it going to hurt? But now…

I sat up in the tub, eyes wide. What about Mrs. B? Was she ever jealous?

Did she worry that Doc was going to fall in love with the nineteen-year-old babysitter and leave her? The thought startled me, and had honestly never occurred to me. How had she reconciled it in their marriage? I wondered if I’d been the first girl they’d ever seduced. How many others had there been? They were obviously still together, and they still cared about each other.

Confused, I leaned back in the tub, closing my eyes again. I couldn’t imagine how I would feel, seeing TJ with another woman. But how had Mrs. B

felt, seeing me with her husband?

I jumped when a knock sounded at the door. “Veronica?” It was Mrs. B, her voice concerned. “Can I come in?”

I glanced down, seeing the water churning around my breasts, my rosy nipples floating in the water, and smiled to myself. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t seen it before.

“Sure,” I called.

She was still wearing her bikini, her body slick with oil as she came in and leaned against the sink. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged and nodded. “Sure, I’m fine.”

Frowning, she cocked her head, her brow knitted. “Are you sure?” I nodded again, not looking into her eyes. “Yeah. Just tired from the plane ride, I guess.”

Mrs. B shook her head, coming over to the tub. She threw a towel down on the floor and knelt, leaning against the edge. I still didn’t look at her, but I felt her eyes on me, searching. She rested her chin on her folded arms with a sigh.

“I don’t think you’re okay.” Her voice was insistent and I swallowed when she touched my hair, smoothing it back from my face. “I think you are most definitely not okay.”

I shook my head, denying it, a lump growing in my throat so I couldn’t say the words.

“Hey…” Her voice was soft and kind, as it always had been, just like I’d remembered it. “It’s me…you can talk to me…”

I shook my head again, blinking back tears. “No…Mrs. B… I…”

“Oh for Christ’s sake, can’t you finally call me Carrie?” Startled, I looked up at her, meeting her eyes. They were teasing, but serious, too. I laughed, I couldn’t help it, and she laughed with me.

“I mean, come on…” She smiled, cocking her head again. “We’re both big girls, now, right?”

“Right.” I laughed again, shaking my head. “Okay…Carrie…” Her name felt odd in my mouth, but somehow it was right. “I’m fine. Really.” We looked at each other and both burst out laughing at once, knowing it was the biggest lie in the world. And before I knew it, I was crying instead of laughing, tears streaming down my face, and Mrs. B-Carrie-was leaning into the tub to hug me.

“Oh sweetheart, it’s okay,” she murmured, stroking my hair. “Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

“No it’s not!” I sobbed, clinging. Her skin was slick with oil and my hands slipped on her shoulders, but I grabbed onto the strings of her suit. She did her best to comfort me, but I was crying hard, now, all the fear and emotion I’d kept inside for weeks pouring out over poor Mrs. B’s shoulders.

“Yes, it will, I promise,” she whispered, letting me pull her closer, so she was leaning half over the tub. “It’ll be okay.”

“You don’t understand!” I croaked. “TJ wants to have an open marriage and I don’t know what to do!”

She pulled back and looked at me, her eyes soft with understanding.

Cupping my face in her hands, she kissed my tear-stained cheek, shaking her head. “Oh sweetie… yes… yes, I do understand.”

“No!” I cried, feeling the desperation crawling up my throat with the words.

“Carrie, I feel so caught! I’m scared to death of losing him if I do it and I’m scared to death of losing him if I don’t-I don’t know what to do!”