A Brief Guide to Islamic State (2015)

It is said that the Muslim Ummah is like the rain and that its flashes of brilliance can be found scattered throughout the pages of history, but sometimes it produces real gems. Take the charisma and magnetism of Sheikh Usamah bin Laden (rh)[7] or the raw fury of Abu Musab al Zarqawi (rh) — we thought we saw it all, but then came the poetic eloquence of Sheikh Adnani (ha) and the strong leadership of Abu Bakr al Baghdadi (ha), and now we lie and wait for the next Ibn Taymiyyah (rh) and Tariq bin Ziyaad (rh) and Muhammad bin Qasim (rh). Amazing, isn’t it?

So take a deep breath and think for a moment — yes we have it — a Caliphate[8] upon the methodology of Prophethood. Never in my lifetime did I envisage seeing it let alone live in it, but here I am relishing every moment and working hard to see it in Rome and beyond.

It has been nearly a year since the birth of the Islamic State, from the writing of this piece, and as the word spreads that the dream has indeed become reality more and more Muslims will sooner or later take that leap of faith and migrate. Yet, there are still those who are genuinely hesitant, perhaps curious, whilst there are others who have already made the decision to move, but need that extra push.

So if you want to know more about this new fledgling state and what life is really like under the Caliphate then continue reading and get ready to set fire to procrastination.

Food in the Caliphate

If you thought you would be living on stale bread and septic water then erase that culinary fib from your mind. Below are some of the most popular dishes served on the streets of the Caliphate, and some familiar snacks.

Shawarma

Succulent pieces of chicken or lamb married with lemon juice, lettuce, cabbage, onions and wrapped neatly in a flat round piece of bread called khubs. Sauces include mayonnaise and a spicy red pepper relish.

Sheesh Kebab

A spin off from the shawarma except this time the juicy pieces of chicken or lamb are skewed and slow cooked over a smoky charcoal grill. Scrumptious.

Falafel sandwich

A great vegetarian option, it is a satisfying meal on the go. Shredded cabbage, lettuce and tomato mixed with squashed falafels (fried chick peas) and smooth creamy humus all wrapped with wholesome flatbread.

‘Ijaa

A tempting choice for the bargain hunter this sandwich is a mirror of the falafel sandwich except it substitutes falafels for deep fried eggs.

Jubun bread

Diamond shaped pieces of delicately baked bread stuffed with melted cheese. Other fillings include spiced chicken and minced lamb.

Fruity cocktails

Very popular in the summer and costing less than a dollar, use your imagination to create your own unique blends. You can even spoil yourself by adding milk, sugar and crushed ice.

Tea and coffee

If you were worried about leaving behind your local Costa Coffee then you will be happy to know that the Caliphate serves some of the best lattes and cappuccinos around. The milk is truly delightful — creamy and fresh. As for the tea then the distinctive pekoe leaves of Layalina are, at the moment, the frontrunners.

Ice cream

Fluffy, velvety and sweet. If you want to treat yourself then indulge in this full fat delight all for less than 30 pence.

Bizr

Roasted sunflower seeds. Can be found salted or unsalted. A popular snack.

Chocolates

Snickers, Kit Kat, Bounty, Twix, Kinder Surprise, Cadburys — yes, yes we have it all.

The great thing about food in the Caliphate is its freshness. You can be sure that the vegetables you crunch down on basked gloriously in the sunshine before reaching your dinner plate. And what about the olive groves? Yes, there are plenty of them and the pickles and rich oils that spring from them beat anything from your local Tescos or Walmart.

If nothing here tickles your taste buds then remember we have only scratched the surface; as more Muslims flock to the Caliphate from Europe, Asia, the Caribbean Islands and elsewhere you can be sure to find your mouth watering morsels somewhere. I cannot help but think that in the near future we will be eating curries and chow meins on the streets of Raqqah and Mosul.

Lastly, another great perk about food in the Caliphate is that everything is 100% halal. No squinting at the back of food packets looking for those dreaded ‘E’ numbers, alcohol additives or pork gelatine; all the meat here is thoroughly checked and approved fit for consumption.

Weather in the Caliphate

This really depends on where you are, but as it stands the Caliphate offers an exquisite Mediterranean climate that has all the makings of a plush holiday resort. Whether it is the sandy ruggedness of Barakah or the green hilly plains of Halab, wherever you are, I guarantee you will find the scenery truly breath-taking.