A Girl's Guide to Vampires

Raphael was sprawled over his bed—there's just no word for the masculine grace he displayed as he lay there—totally, completely, utterly naked. I let my eyes go wild, feasting in an orgy of delight as I gazed at all that flesh, starting at his toes (nice long, narrow feet), working my way up muscular calves and heavily muscled thighs to pause for a long, long moment on that part of him that many parts of me were even now clamoring for. I swallowed back a good gallon or so of saliva that was threatening to issue forth as drool and forced my perusal upward to his stomach, where I stopped to admire a sunburst tattoo just below his belly button. It was about the size of a half dollar, and was made up of a sun with wavy rays emanating from it. I'd never seen anything like it, and although I wasn't a fan of tattoos, that one had me licking my lips. I tore my eyes from it and let my gaze continue up to a broad chest with insouciant nipples that screamed for attention, taking two side excursions to arms that were muscley without being obscenely big, stopping finally when my eyes met his.

"You are so lucky," Roxy said to me in a voice filled with awe.

I blinked.

"Would you like me to turn over so you can see my other side?" Raphael asked.

"Would you?" Roxy breathed hopefully.

"No, he would not," I snapped, shoving her out the door.

She pushed back to leer at Raphael as he started to get out of bed. "Nice seeing you! And I mean that literally!"

"Roxy!"

She craned her head around me again. "That's a really great tattoo, by the way. Sexy! Bet it drives the women wild."

"ROXY!"

"Sorry. I'll just go sit out here while you conduct the test."

"What test?" I asked in a low whisper.

She mimed pulling the blinds, then turned and disappeared into the blackness of the trailer.

I faced Raphael, now pulling on a pair of jeans. "I… urn… suppose you'd like to know what we're doing here."

He scratched his chest and sat on the end of the bed. I wanted to shove his hand aside and scratch it for him, but the dark circles under his eyes reminded me that whatever he was, he'd only had a few hours sleep.

"I'm really sorry about this," I said, filled with remorse at allowing Roxy to drag me into the idiotic scheme. "It's just that last night…"

He covered his mouth as he yawned. "What about last night?"

"Well, last night… that is, I need to make sure that you're who you say you are." His back stiffened at my words. I hurried on to try to explain. "Not that I don't believe you, but as Roxy pointed out, it's better to be sure so i can eliminate you from the list, and… well… I can't do that unless you let me open the blinds."

He shook his head and rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. "I'm not following any of this, not the least of which is who you think I am, so if you could explain why it was so important that you go to the trouble of breaking into my trailer to talk to me, I'd appreciate it."

I sidled along the two-foot space at the end of the bed toward the window. "Can I just open this?"

He looked at the window. "Why? Do you have a camera crew out there? Are you part of one of those shows on the telly where they film people unawares? Is a man in a gorilla suit going to jump out of my closet?"

"No, no, honestly, it's nothing at all like that, I just want to open the blind. Is that OK?"

He rubbed his eyes again. "Please yourself."

I put my hand on the blind cords. "Are you sure? It won't… uh… hurt you in any way?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Hurt me? Woman, you are steadily going from confusing to incomprehensible."

I waited.

"No," he said. "It won't hurt me."

I yanked on the cord and let the pale sunlight wash into the tiny bedroom, covering him in a golden haze. He raised his eyebrows.

"Wahoo!" I shouted, jumping up and down and spinning around with the joy of it all. "You're not a vampire! You're a nice, normal man with nice, normal eating habits and no ability to merge your mind with mine!"

Raphael shook his adorable curls. "I think, for my sanity's sake, I'm going to stop trying to understand you and just go with the flow."

He grabbed me as I twirled around again, and pulled me down onto the bed, leaning over me so his chest was pressed against mine, his lips perfectly placed for kissing.

"Nice," I said, unable to keep from smiling as I stroked his chest. "I like a man with a hairy chest."

"Oddly enough," he grinned back at me, "I like a woman who likes a man with a hairy chest. And speaking of chests…" His head dipped as he nuzzled aside the lace collar of my blouse.

"Hey! You guys can't do that while I'm here! I can see everything, you know!"

"Rats. I forgot about Roxy."

He pulled his head up from my chest and put it back into kissing position. "I find it difficult to believe anyone could forget about Roxy."

"I heard that!"