A Little Cloud

`O, come on, another one won't do you any harm. What is it? The same again, I suppose?'

`Well... all right.'

`François, the same again... Will you smoke, Tommy?'

Ignatius Gallaher produced his cigar-case. The two friends lit their cigars and puffed at them in silence until their drinks were served.

`I'll tell you my opinion,' said Ignatius Gallaher, emerging after some time from the clouds of smoke in which he had taken refuge, `it's a rum world. Talk of immorality! I've heard of cases — what am I saying? — I've known them: cases of... immorality... '

Ignatius Gallaher puffed thoughtfully at his cigar and then, in a calm historian's tone, he proceeded to sketch for his friend some pictures of the corruption which was rife abroad. He summarized the vices of many capitals and seemed inclined to award the palm to Berlin. Some things he could not vouch for (his friends had told him), but of others he had had personal experience. He spared neither rank nor caste. He revealed many of the secrets of religious houses on the Continent and described some of the practices which were fashionable in high society, and ended by telling, with details, a story about an English duchess — a story which he knew to be true. Little chandler was astonished.

`Ah, well,' said Ignatius Gallaher, `here we are in old jog-along Dublin where nothing is known of such things.'

`How dull you must find it,' said Little Chandler, `after all the other places you've seen!'

`Well,' said Ignatius Gallaher, `it's a relaxation to come over here, you know. And, after all, it's the old country, as they say, isn't it? You can't help having a certain feeling for it. That's human nature... But tell me something about yourself. Hogan told me you had... tasted the joys of connubial bliss. Two years ago, wasn't it?'

Little Chandler blushed and smiled.

`Yes,' he said. `I was married last May twelve months.'

`I hope it's not too late in the day to offer my best wishes,' said Ignatius Gallaher. `I didn't know your address or I'd have done so at the time.'

He extended his hand, which Little Chandler took.

`Well, Tommy,' he said, `I wish you and yours every joy in life, old chap, and tons of money, and may you never die till I shoot you. And that's the wish of a sincere friend, an old friend. You know that?'

`I know that,' said Little Chandler.

`Any youngsters?' said Ignatius Gallaher.

Little Chandler blushed again.

`We have one child,' he said.

`Son or daughter?'

`A little boy.'

Ignatius Gallaher slapped his friend sonorously on the back.

`Bravo,' he said, `I wouldn't doubt you, Tommy.'

Little Chandler smiled, looked confusedly at his glass and bit his lower lip with three childishly white front teeth.

`I hope you'll spend an evening with us,' he said, `before you go back. My wife will be delighted to meet you. We can have a little music and—'

`Thanks awfully, old chap,' said Ignatius Gallaher, `I'm sorry we didn't meet earlier. But I must leave tomorrow night.'

`Tonight, perhaps... ?`

`I'm awfully sorry, old man. You see I'm over here with another fellow, clever young chap he is too, and we arranged to go to a little card-party. Only for that... '

`O, in that case... '

`But who knows?' said Ignatius Gallaher considerately. `Next year I may take a little skip over here now that I've broken the ice. It's only a pleasure deferred.'

`Very well,' said Little Chandler, `the next time you come we must have an evening together. That's agreed now, isn't it?'

`Yes, that's agreed,' said Ignatius Gallaher. `Next year if I come, parole d'honneur.'

`And to clinch the bargain,' said Little Chandler, `we'll just have one more now.'

Ignatius Gallaher took out a large gold watch and looked at it.

`Is it to be the last?' he Said. `Because, you know, I have an a.p.'

`O, yes, positively,' said Little Chandler.

`Very well, then,' said Ignatius Gallaher, `let us have another one as a deoc an doirus — that's good vernacular for a small whisky, I believe.'