A Pale View of Hills

“But Niki, you really don’t understand. I was very fond of my father-in-law.” I looked at her for a moment, then

• finally gave a laugh. “Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps I was relieved he didn’t come to live with us. I don’t remember flow.” I reached forward and touched the top of the wooden gate. A Little moisture came away on my fingers. I realized Niki was watching me and I held up my hand to show her.

There’s still some frost,’’ I said.

”Do you still think about Japan a lot, Mother?:

‘1 suppose s” I turned back to the field. ‘I have a few memories”

Two ponies had appeared near the sycamore trees. Fat a moment they stood quite still, in the sunshine, side by side.

‘That calendar I gave you this morning,” I said. “That’s a view of the harbour in Nagasaki. This morning I was remembering the time we went there once, on a day-trip. Those hills over the harbour are very beautiful.”

The ponies moved slowly behind the trees.

‘What was so special about it?” said Niki.

“Special?”

“About the day you spent at the harbour.”

“Oh, there was nothing special about it. I was just remembering it, that’s all. Keiko was happy that day. We rode on the cablecars.’ I gave a laugh and turned to Niki. “No) there was nothing special about it. It’s just a happy memory, that’s all.”

My daughter gave a sigh. ‘Everything’s so quiet out here,” she said. “I don’t remember things being this quiet.”

“Yes, it must seem quiet after London.”

“I suppose it gets a bit boring sometimes, out here on your own.

“But I enjoy the quiet, Niki. I always think it’s so truly like England out here.”

I turned away from the field, and for a moment looked back towards the orchard behind us.

“All those trees weren’t here when we first came,” I said, eventually. “It was all fields, and you could see the house froth here. When your father first brought me down here, Niki, I remember thinking how so truly like England everything looked. All these fields, and the house too. It was lust the way I always imagined England would be and I was so

pleased”

Niki took a deep breath and moved away from the gate. “Wed better be getting back,” she said. “I’ll have to be going fairly soon.

As we walked back through the orchard, the sky seemed to cloud over

“1 was just thinking the other day,” I said, “perhaps I

should sell the house now.”

‘‘Sell it?’’

“Yes. Move somewhere smaller perhaps. It’s just an s idea.”

‘You want to sell the house?” My daughter gave me a concerned Jock. “But it’s a really nice house.”

“But it’s so large now.”

“But it’s a really nice house, Mother. It’d be a shame.”

V “I suppose so. It was just an idea, Niki, that’s all.” [• I would like to have seen her to the railway station — it is only a few minutes’ walk — but the idea seemed to embarrass her. She left shortly after lunch with an oddly self conscious air, as if she were leaving without my approval.

The afternoon had turned grey and windy, and I stood in the doorway as she walked down to the end of the drive. She was dressed in the same tight-fitting clothes she had arrived in, and her suitcase made her drag her step a little.

When she reached the gate, Niki glanced back and seemed surprised to find me still standing at the door. I smiled and waved to her.