A Stainless Steel Rat Is Born

"I believe you, Jim, and thank you for the kind words. But I work alone and wish no disciples. I was prepared to kill you to preserve the secret of my identity. Now I do not think that will be necessary. I will take your word that you will not look for me again-or use my identity for any more crimes." "I grant your requests instantly. I only became The Bishop to draw your attention. But reconsider, I beg of you, my application for membership in your academy of advanced crime!" "There is no such insitution," he said, hauling himself to his feet. "Applications are closed." "Then let me rephrase my request," I said hurriedly, Imowing my remaining time was brief. "Let me be personal, if I can, and forgive any distress I may cause. I am young, not yet twenty, and you have been on this planet for over eighty years. I have been only a few years at my chosen work. And, in this brief time, I have discovered that I am truly alone. What I do I must do for myself and by myself. There is no comradeship of crime because all of the criminals I have seen are incompetents. Therefore I must go it alone. If I am lonely-then dare I even guess at the loneliness of your life?" He stood stock-still, one hand resting on the desk, staring at the blank wall, as through a window, at sometiling I could not see. Then he sighed, and with the sound, as though it had released some power that kept him erect, he slumped back into the chair." "You speak the truth, my boy, and only the truth. I do not wish to discuss the matter, but your barb has been driven well home. Nevertheless what is, will be. I am too old a dog to change his ways. I bid you farewell, and thank you for a most interesting week. Been a bit like old times." "Reconsider, please!" "I cannot. " "Give me your address-1 must send you the money." "Keep it, you earned it. Though in the future earn it under a different identity. Let The Bishop enjoy his retirement. I will add only one thing, a bit of advice. Reconsider your career ambitions. Put your great talents to work in a more sociably acceptable manner. In that way you will avoid the vast loneliness you have already noted." "Never!" I cried aloud. "Never, I would rather rot in jail for the rest of my life than accept a role in the society I nave so overwhelmingly rejected. " "You may change your mind." "There is no chance of that," I said to the empty room. The door had closed behind him and he was gone.

Chapter 10

Well, that was that. There is nothing like an overwhelming depression to frring one down from the heights ofelation. I had done exactly what I had set out to do. My complex plan had worked perfectly. I had unearthed The Bishop from his secret lair and had made him an offer he couldn't refuse.

Except he had. Even the pleasure of having pulled off the successful robbery now meant nothing. The bucks were like ashes in my hand. I sat in my room at the hotel and looked into the {uture and could see only a vast vacuity. I counted the money over and over until the sums were meaningless. In making my plans I had considered all of the possibilities but one-that The Bishop would turn me down. It was kind of hard to take.

By the time I got back to Biliville the next day I was wallowing in a dark depression and thoroughly enjoying the bath of self-pity. Which I normally cannot stand. Nor could I this time. I looked in the mirror at the holloweyed and woebegone face and stuck my tongue out at it.

"Sissy!" I said. "Momma's boy, whiner, self-indulgent wimp," and added whatever other insults I could think of. Having cleansed the air a bit, I made a sandwich and a pot of coffee-no alcohol to clog the synapses!-and sat down to munch and guzzle and think about the ftiture. What next?

Nothing. At least nothing constructive that I could think of at this moment. All of my plans had ended at a blank wall and I could see no way around or over it. I slumped back and snapped my fingers at the 3V. A commercial channel came on and before I could change channels the announcer appeared in glorious three dimension and color. I didn't switch because the announcer,was a she and wearing only the flimsiest of swim suits.

"Come where the balmy breezes blow," she cajoled. "Come join me on the silver sands of beautiful Vaticano Beach, where the sun and waves will refresh your soul.. .." I turned the thing off. My soul was in fine shape and the fine shape of the announcer only gave me more problems to think about. Future first, heterosexual love later. But the commercial had at least given me the beginning of an idea.