A Stainless Steel Rat Is Born

"Nil carborundum, Jim. Don't let the bastards wear you down. We are landed in a ripe one this time. SpiOvente was first contacted by the League over ten years ago. It had been isolated since the Breakdown and had thousands of years to go bad. It is the sort of place that gives crime a bad name-since the criminals are in charge here. The madhouse has been taken o~er by the madmen. Anarchy rules-no, not true-Spiovente makes anarchy look like a Boy Sprout's picnic. I have made a particular study of this planet's system of government,while working out the stickier bits of my personal philosophy. Here we have something that belongs in the lost dark ages of mankind's rise. It is thoroughly despicable in every way-and there is nothing that the League can do about it, short of launching an invasion. Which would be completely against League philosophy. The strength of the League is also its weakness. No planet or planets can physically attack another planet. Any one that did would face instant destruction by all the others since war has now been declared illegal. The League can only help newly discovered planets, offer advice and aid. It is rumored that there are covert League organizations that work to subvert repulsive societies like this one-but of course this has never been revealed in public. So what we have here is trouble, bad trouble. For Spiovente is a warped mirror image of the civilized worlds. There is no rule of law here-just might. Criminal gangs are led by Capos, the swordman in the fancy uniform, Capo Doccia, he's one of them. Each Capo controls as large a capote as he can. His followers are rewarded with a portion of the loot extracted from the peasantry or from the spoils of war. At the very bottom of this pyramid of crime are the slaves. Us." He pointed to the paincuff on his ankle and thoroughly depressed himself. Me as well.

"Well, we can still look at the bright side," I said with desperation.

"What bright side?" I wondered about that myself as I furiously thought out loud.

"The bright side, yes, there is always a bright side. Like for instance-we are well away from Bit 0' Heaven and our problems there. All set for a new start." "At the bottom of the pile? As slaves?" "Correct! From here the only direction we can go is up!" His lips twitched in the slightest smile at this desperate salty and I hurried on.

"For example-they searched us and took away everything we had on us. Every item except one. I still have a little souvenir in my shoe from my trip to jail. This.". 1 held up the lockpick and his smile widened. "And it works-see." I opened my paincuffand showed it to him, then snapped it back into place. "So when we are ready to leave-we leave!" By this time the grin had widened into a full smile. He reached out and seized my shoulder in a grip of true comradeship. "How right you are, " he beamed. "We shall be good slaves-for a time. Just long enough to learn the ropes of this society, the chain of command and how to penetrate it, what the sources of wealth are and how to acquire them. As soon as I determine where the chinks are in the structure of society here we shall become rats again. Not stainless steel ones, I am afraid, -more of the furry, toothy kind. " "A rat by any other name is just as sweet. We will overcome!" We had to leap aside then as the first of the crates was manhandled into the back of the cart, the fabric of its battered structure squeaking and groaning. When the last of the cases was aboard the loaders climbed in themselves. I was glad the light was so bad-1 really did not want to look at them too closely. Three scruffy, dirty men, unshaven and dressed in rags. Unwashed too as my twitching nose quickly informed me. Then a fourth man heaved himself up, bigger and nastier than the others, although his garments were in slightly better shape. He glared down at us and I smelled trouble, in addition to the pong.

"You know who I am? I'm the Pusher. This is my bunch and you do what I say. The first thing I say is you, old man, take off that jacket. It'll look better on me than on you." "Thank you for the suggestion, sir," The Bishop answered sweetly. "But I think I shall retain it." I knew what he was doing and I hoped that I was up to it. There was little room tct~move about in and this thug was twice my size. I had time for one blow, no more, and it had to be a good one.

The brute roared in anger and started climbing over the crates. The terrified slaves scrambled out of his way. I scrambled aside too and he ignored me as he passed. Perfect. He was just clutching at The Bishop when I hit him in the back of the neck with my joined fists. There was a satisfactory thunk and he collapsed on top of the crate.

I turned to the slaves who were watching in wide-eyed silence.