Absent Friends

In the days after September 11, two friends spoke on the phone. Not wanting to break the connection, they searched for topics to talk about, though only one thing was on their minds, the same as on everyone's. One of the two was a man with a disability. “Did you know I'm using a cane now?” he said. “It's not that I can't walk; I can. It's just that sometimes I feel like I can't find the floor.” My God, that's how I feel, the other thought, though she said nothing. I know where it is, I must be standing right on it, where else could I stand? But I can't find it. I can't find the floor.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND THE PIG

An old story about Abe Lincoln: riding through the countryside in a carriage with a friend, Lincoln spotted a pig stuck in a fence. The pig was squealing and writhing, but it couldn't get loose. Lincoln stopped the carriage, took off his jacket, and wrestled the pig out from the rails. The pig trotted off. Lincoln, covered with sweat, mud, and bruises, returned to the carriage.

“Was that your pig?” his friend asked.

“No,” Lincoln answered, picking up the reins.

“Your neighbor's?”

“I don't know the man who owns this land.”

“Well, that was awfully good of you, then,” said the friend. “To put yourself to so much trouble for a stranger's pig.”

Lincoln said, “I didn't do it for the pig.”

“For the owner, then? Whoever he is?”

“No. For myself.”

“For yourself?”

“Yes,” said Lincoln. “I don't want to have to lie awake all night listening to that damn pig squealing in my head.”

THE BODIES OF THE BIRDS

The fireballs that erupted when the planes hit the towers of the World Trade Center scorched the feathers from the wings of sparrows, finches, grackles, pigeons, and seagulls hundreds of yards away. Small charred corpses were found as far north as Houston Street.

THE INVISIBLE MAN STEPS BETWEEN

YOU AND THE MIRROR

The undead, so legends say, though visible to the eye and capable of great destruction, don't appear in mirrors. The Invisible Man, though, who cannot be seen at all: does his presence, as it is said, distort reflections?

Grateful acknowledgment is given for permission to reprint from the following:

“Musée des Beaux Arts,” copyright 1940 and renewed 1968 by W. H. Auden, from COLLECTED POEMS by W. H. Auden.

Used by permission of Random House, Inc.

Excerpt from “A Martial Law Carol” from COLLECTED POEMS IN ENGLISH by Joseph Brodsky. Copyright © 2000 by the Estate of Joseph Brodsky. Reprinted by permission of Farrar, Straus and Giroux, LLC.

ABSENT FRIENDS

A Delacorte Press Book / October 2004

Published by Bantam Dell

A Division of Random House, Inc.

New York, New York

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved

Copyright © 2004 by S. J. Rozan

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher, except where permitted by law.

Delacorte Press is a registered trademark of Random House, Inc., and the colophon is a trademark of Random House, Inc.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Rozan, S. J.

Absent friends / S. J. Rozan.

p. cm.

1. September 11 Terrorist Attacks, 2001—Fiction. 2. Staten Island (New York, N.Y.)—Fiction. 3. Women journalists—Fiction. 4. Firefighters—Fiction. 5. Friendship—Fiction. 6. Secrecy—Fiction. I. Title.

PS3568.O99A64 2004

813'.54—dc22 2004045471

eISBN: 978-0-440-33509-2

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