Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadden

"Mrs. Raisin. The colonel, that is dear Colonel Lyche, has suggested we all get together after dinner for a game of Scrabble. There are so few of us. Miss Jennifer Stobbs, and Miss Mary Dulsey are very keen players. And Mr. Harry Berry usually beats us all."

"Too kind," said Agatha, backing away, "but I've got a date."

"I thought you were a business woman when I saw you. I said to the colonel--"

"I mean a date. A fellow."

"Oh, really. Another time, then."

Agatha escaped up to her room. Surely a dance on the pier was infinitely preferable to an evening playing Scrabble with that lot!

At seven o'clock, she picked up the phone and ordered sandwiches and a bottle of mineral water to be served to her in her room.

When the elderly waiter creaked in with it ten minutes later, Agatha tipped him lavishly because he looked too old and frail to be carrying one of the heavy solid-silver trays the hotel used for room service.

She ate quickly and then put on an evening blouse and a black velvet skirt. She carefully put on her wig and made up her face. Then she swung open the wardrobe door. The wardrobe could have been turned into a room in another type of hotel, she thought. It was one of those vast Victorian mahogany ones. Hanging there was her mink coat. She took it out, her hands caressing the fur. Should she wear it? Or would some animal libber spit at her and try to wrench it off her back? Or was it safe to consign it to the perils of the pier ballroom cloakroom? If she put on a cloth coat, then she would need to wear a cardigan over her evening blouse. With a feeling of sin, she wrapped it round her, remembering when she had bought it in the dear, dead days when fur was fashionable. Then she tied a silk scarf over her wig to anchor it. The wind might rise again.

When she went downstairs, Jimmy was waiting in the reception, wearing white evening shirt and black tie under another long black coat.

"Dressy affair?" asked Agatha.

"We always dress up in Wyckhadden," he said. "We're pretty old-fashioned."

"What kind of dancing is it?" asked Agatha. "Disco?"

"No, ballroom."

As they walked along the pier, Agatha saw a poster, BALLROOM DANCING FOR THE OLD-TYMERS, it said. And then in smaller letters, "Old-Age Pensioners, Half-Price."

This place'll make me old before my time, thought Agatha, and suddenly wished she had not come.

They checked their coats in at the desk and then walked into the ballroom. The dancers were all middle-aged or elderly, performing a lively military Two-Step. "Shall we?" asked Jimmy. Agatha looked longingly at the bar. "I could do with a drink first."

"Right you are." He led her over to the bar. "Gin and tonic?"

Agatha nodded. He collected their drinks and they sat down at a small table next to the dance floor.

A couple came up to join them, a tall redhead with big hair, big bosoms and hard eyes so mascaraed that they looked as if two spiders were resting on her face. Her partner was small, wearing a bright red jacket and white trousers. " 'Ow's our Jimmy?" asked the redhead.

"Agatha," said Jimmy, "this is Maisie and Chris Leeman. Agatha Raisin."

"Mind if we join you?" asked Maisie and she and Chris drew up chairs and sat down as well without being asked. "Fetch me a brandy and Babycham, Chris, there's a love," said Maisie. She turned to Agatha. "I haven't seen you before."

"I'm on holiday," said Agatha.

"Where you staying?"

"The Garden."

"Oh, there's posh for you." She nudged Jimmy in the ribs. "Got yourself a rich widow, eh?"

What awful people, thought Agatha. If only I could escape. Chris came back with drinks. He asked Agatha what she was doing in Wyckhadden and Agatha explained again that she was on holiday.

"Odd place for a holiday. Most people come here to die." Chris nudged Maisie in the ribs and she shrieked with laughter.

"Dance, Agatha?" asked Jimmy.

"Yes, please." Agatha rose from the table and gratefully joined Jimmy in the Saint Bernard's waltz. Why am I such a snob? she fretted. But I really can't bear Chris and Maisie and if that's the kind of friends he has, I don't want to see any more of him after this evening. Jimmy was dancing expertly and exchanging greetings with other couples on the floor. He seemed to know an awful lot of people, but then Wyckhadden was a small place. "Have you lived here very long?" asked Agatha, executing a neat pirouette. Amazing how the steps came back to one.

"All my life," he said.

"I never asked you if you were married."

"I was," said Jimmy. "She died."

"Long ago?"

"Ten years."

"Any children?"

"Two. I've a son of twenty-eight and a daughter of thirty-two."

"And what do they do?" asked Agatha, wondering if she could steer him away from Chris and Maisie after this dance finished.

"John, my son, is an engineer. Not married. Joan is married to a university lecturer at Essex University. Got two kids. Very happy."

The dance finished. A tango was announced. To her relief, Agatha could see Chris and Maisie taking the floor.