Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia

I listened, interested, but not quite sure why my grandfather wanted me to know this. I’m a rather awesome person (have I mentioned that?), but I’m really not that great at politics. It’s one of the three things I’ve no experience whatsoever doing, the other two being writing books and atmospheric rocket-propelled penguin riding. (Stupid responsibility.)

“So … what does this have to do with me?” I asked.

“Everything, lad, everything!” Grandpa Smedry pointed at me. “We’re Smedrys. When we gave up our kingdom, we took an oath to watch over all of the Free Kingdoms. We’re the guardians of civilization!”

“But wouldn’t it be good if the kings made peace with the Librarians?”

Sing looked pained. “Alcatraz, to do so they would give up Mokia, my homeland! It would get folded into the Hushlands, and a generation or two from now the Mokians wouldn’t even remember being free. My people can’t continue to fight the Librarians without the support of the other Free Kingdoms. We’re too small on our own.”

“The Librarians won’t keep their promise of peace,” Grandpa Smedry said. “They’ve wanted Mokia badly for years now—I still don’t know why they’re so focused on it, as opposed to other kingdoms. Either way, taking over Mokia will put them one step closer to controlling the entire world. Manhandling Moons! Do you really think we can just give away an entire kingdom like that?”

I looked at Sing. The oversized anthropologist and his sister had become very dear to me over the last few months. They were earnest and fiercely loyal, and Sing had believed in me even when I’d tried to push him away. And for that, I wanted to do whatever I could to help him.

“No,” I said. “You’re right, we can’t let that happen. We’ve got to stop it.”

Grandpa Smedry smiled, laying a hand on my shoulder.

It might not seem like much, but this was a drastic turning point for me. It was the first time I really decided that I was in. I’d entered the Library of Alexandria only because I’d been chased by a monster. I’d only gone into Blackburn’s lair because Grandpa Smedry had urged me on.

This was different. I understood then why my grandfather had called me over. He wanted me to be part of this—not just a kid who tags along, but a full participant.

Something tells me I’d have been much better off hiding in my room. Responsibility. It’s the opposite of selfishness. I wish I’d known where it would get me. But this was before my betrayal and before I went blind.

Through one of the windows, I could see that the dragon had begun to descend. A moment later the gondola settled against the ground.

We had arrived.

Chapter 4

All right, I understand. You’re confused. Don’t feel ashamed; it happens to everyone once in a while. (Except me, of course.)

Having read the previous two books of my autobiography (as I’m sure by now you have), you know that I’m generally down on myself. I’ve told you that I’m a liar, a sadist, and a terrible person. And yet now in this volume, I’ve started talking about my awesomeness. Have I really changed my mind? Have I actually decided that I am a hero? Am I wearing kitty-cat socks right now?

No. (The socks have dolphins on them.)

I’ve realized something. By being so hard on myself in the previous books, I sounded like I was being humble. Readers assumed that because I said I was a terrible person, I must indeed be a saint.

Honestly, are you people determined to drive me insane? Why can’t you just listen to what I tell you?

Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to convince you readers that I’m a terrible person is to show you how arrogant and self-centered I am. I’ll do this by talking about my virtues. Incessantly. All the time. Until you’re completely sick of hearing about my superiority.

Maybe then you’ll understand.

The royal palace of Nalhalla turned out to be the white, pyramidal castle at the center of the city. I stepped from the gondola, trying not to gawk as I gazed up at the magnificent building. The stonework was carved as high as I could see.

“Forward!” Grandpa Smedry said, rushing up the steps like a general running into battle. He’s remarkably spry for a person who is always late to everything.

I glanced at Bastille, who looked kind of sick. “I think I’ll wait outside,” she said.

“You’re going in,” Draulin snapped, walking up the steps, her armor clinking.

I frowned. Usually Draulin was very keen on making Bastille wait outside, since a mere “squire” shouldn’t be involved in important issues. Why insist that she enter the palace? I shot Bastille a questioning glance, but she just grimaced. So I rushed to catch up to my grandfather and Sing.

“… afraid I can’t tell you much more, Lord Smedry,” Sing was saying. “Folsom is the one who has been keeping track of the Council of Kings in your absence.”

“Ah yes,” Grandpa Smedry said. “He’ll be here, I assume?”

“He should be!” Sing said.

“Another cousin?” I asked.