Читаем Anam Cara полностью

against the dark, leaves them stripped and lost


to reach ever further into the nowhere of air.


Darkly, the horizon, grown into light


holds back the swell of land astray at night.


The streams that flowed with ease from earth to dark


arrive helpless against day’s transparence.


Stones lost from pockets of night wince on grass.


With the light comes the distance that divides


the sleep of land from torrents of dream


that drive the ocean; the tribes of night at play


from the face where a life is known by day,


colours distract the rage and grief of dark.


In rooms sour with breath, lives begin to stir


soon they will emerge onto streets that wait


all night to snare them with habits of light.


Each one hurries in its own direction


filled with darkness no dawn can threaten.


Voices at the Funeral


i—Body


It is an old habit to praise the light,


naively name it the mother of life,


let blue of sky keep heaven innocent


and green of grass quell the darkness of clay.

• • •

Their voices splinter; the silence thickens.


The covering of light falls from the dark.


I cannot move my lips or stir my tongue,


the relics of their hands fill with distance.


I know the feel of cold that slows blood,


cold that chokes the life of every limb;


ice has entered me; my skin turns blue;


things petrify in the caves of my bone.

• • •


Neighbours lay her out, wash beads of life-sweat.


True to custom, don’t throw this water out


but distribute it to plants she grew;


her hair combed she is ready to view.


ii—Grave


Left unto itself, the earth is one field.


Walls cannot reach below grass to divide


the dark substance of clay, glued to itself


in a dream that is black and always cold.


The remains of lives in timber interred


are lowered into this field of the dead;


old stones cling to each other in the wall


that makes this the loneliest field of all.


Under grass a net of soliloquies


strives to stretch into the fibre of earth


as prodigal clay returns out of skin


and headstones sharpen the mourning of wind.


A silver blade sped through the sod, three men


broke into this underworld yesterday


to open a space to fit her coffin;


they kept talking to keep the dead away.


Light smuggles in a brace of thistle seed


and the breath of the sea alert with salt,


the scent of grass and taste of rainwashed air


until the grave becomes a trough of sun.


iii—Coffin


The undertaker has a low, slow voice


without echo and immune to sorrow,


that fits itself to the silence of death


will not alert the mourners, lets them feel


secure in the script of the funeral.


His live palm of soft, pink hand lands on me.


I am described in clean and solemn word;


some cluster of taggled voices agree;


money is mentioned, I am suitable


to be chosen for someone called Déirdre.


Cold and bare, the morgue stencils her farewell.


Weeping heads dip deep into her cold form.


Hands enshrine her face, lips tip the forehead


as they inter whispers in her thick sleep.


A son sows a locket under her neck.


The lid is brought down, the light sealed out;


the screws with crucifix heads wound down tight.


A twitch arches her corpse against the dark;


its veneer of make-up begins to fray


odours start to gather on her cold skin.


From the net of soil insects creep, amazed


At a buried cathedral of timber;


patient pin-claws scrape to test the varnish;


from the depths damp invades my soft-wood base


above a cargo of clay pushes this space.


Once, my oak roots searched this underworld


and pulsing with light could feed from this night


a tree proud with branches, leaves and colour.


But what falls from light earth turns to clay


buried timber turns sour and flakes away.


iv—Forgetfulness


In the beginning


is


Nothing.


I am the oldest voice of all,


the voice of absence,


sister of silence.


Let nothing bless


the human head


that climbed so high


to praise itself.


It thinks


it is the face


that life


would wish


to take.


Nothing could settle


in a nest of bone


only images,


the pilgrims


that hold


a moment


out of the blue.


Centuries sleep


in the blood


damn the heart


with longing


for what


eye has not seen


nor ear heard.


Beaks of air


scrabble the skin,


stagger the walk


and clean


from headstones


the rib of name.


III—Clay Holds Memory

Intensity is silent. Its image is not.

I love everything that dazzles me and then

accentuates the darkness within me.

RENÉ CHAR


Exposed

November’s hunger strips the fields, its thin light


rifles the web and warmth of every nest,


allows the cold day to invade each secret,


absolves the ghosts of leaf that outlast autumn.


Now I can depend less and less on the grace


of spontaneity, talk quickly tires,


words become contrived as the eyes of others


notice my mind unravel in this sallow light.


Intense with silence my room waits for me,


the paintings and open books grown distant,


its window one huge eye on the tree outside;


in the mirror the glimpse of my face draws tears.


Origins

The clay


first breathed


a light


too new


for shadow.


From a wound


in the fresh stone


came the man.


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Герасим Энрихович Авшарян , Мэрилу Хеннер

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