Английский разговорный шутя. 100 анекдотов на все случаи жизни

8. Insert articles where necessary:

1. One lady approaches _______ priest.

2. Father, I have _______ problem.

3. I have these two _______ talking female parrots.

4. "What do they say? _______ priest asked.

5. Do you want to have some _______ fun?

6. I have _______ solution to your problem.

7. Thank you, _______ Father!

8. The priest\'s two male _______ parrots are holding rosary beads.

9. Render the joke.

Section 6 Two bulls

There were two bulls, a young one named George and an old one named Sam. It was that time of year to satisfy the local female population, and young George was pretty excited.

«Sam, Sam, can I go down to those heifers over there?» asked George.

«George, relax. Here is how it works. We\'ll wait until they\'re lined up at the feed trough so we can have our way with the ladies in a nice orderly fashion,» said Sam.

«Okay, I can do that,» George answered.

Well, feeding time came and all the heifers were lined up just like Sam said, and George was all excited to go down there, but Sam had a few more instructions.

«Now, George, here is how this is gonna work. I\'ll start at one end, and you can start at the other. We\'ll meet in the middle,» said Sam.

«OK, OK, let\'s go!» said George.

«Hang on, George! One more important thing to remember. These gals will let us have our way but you have to show some respect and be polite. OK?» said Sam.

«Sure,» says George.

Well, they go on down to the heifers all lined up. George starts at one end and Sam at the other. George is pretty excited, but he remembers Sam\'s instructions about being polite, so as he is going along he makes sure to say, «Thank you ma\'am, thank you ma\'am, thank you ma\'am, thank you ma\'am, thank you ma\'am, sorry Sam, thank you ma\'am…»

Study the words and expressions given below:

bull бык

to satisfy удовлетворять

local местный

population население

heifer телка

to relax расслабляться

to line up выстраивать(ся)

feed trough кормушка

gal сленг girl девушка

ma\'am разг. madam мадам

pretty excited разг. сильно возбужденный

here is how it works вот как это работает

in a nice orderly fashion чинно; стройными рядами

feeding time время кормления

Hang on! разг. Погоди!

a few more еще немного

is gonna разг., сленг is going to

this is gonna work это будет работать

to show respect показать (выказать) уважение

Sure! Точно! / Конечно!

to make sure удостовериться, делать наверняка

Exercises to the text

1. Answer the questions to the text:

1. How many bulls were there?

2. What were their names?

3. Why was George pretty excited?

4. Where did he want to go and why?

5. Why did Sam suggest that they wait until the heifers were lined up at the feed trough?

6. Where did Sam and George plan to meet?

7. Did they meet?

8. Wasn\'t Sam a real gentleman?

9. Wasn\'t George a gentleman, either?

2. Fill in the blanks with the words from the text:

1. There were two bulls, a young _______ named George and an old _______ named Sam.

2. It was that time of year _______ the local female population.

3. Young George was _______ excited.

4. George, _______.

5. We\'ll wait _______ they\'re lined up at the feed trough.

6. Feeding time came and all the heifers were _______ up.

7. Now, George, here is how this is _______ work.

8. One more important thing _______.

9. He remembers Sam\'s instructions about _______ polite.