Английский разговорный шутя. 100 самых смешных анекдотов на лучшие разговорные темы

5. I've been saving up money in the bank for twenty five years, and I have already saved up about ten bucks.

Section 11:

2. 1. They celebrated their first night together.

2. What do newlyweds do all night long?

3. The groom goes into the bathroom but finds no towel there.

4. He asks the bride to please bring a towel.

5. He is exposing his body for the first time.

6. Her eyes went up and down and at about midway they stopped.

7. She asked shyly, «What's THAT?»

3. True: 1, 3, 4. False: 2, 5, 6.

4. 1-Е, 2-h, 3-c, 4-k, 5-f, 6-b, 7-j, 8-g, 9-1, 10-a, 11-d.

5. 1. They were doing that all night long, time and time again.

2. He emerged from the shower but found no towel.

3. She saw all of him well.

4. Her eyes went up and down, and at about midway they stopped.

5. She asked shyly.

6. Is that all we have left?

6. 1. I asked her when she had been married.

2. He said they had celebrated their first night together.

3. He whispered that they were doing what newlyweds always did.

4. The groom said he would go into the bathroom.

5. He asked her to bring a towel from the bedroom.

6. She wanted to know where he was.

7. He wondered why she was staring at him in such a way.

8. He said that was what they had so much fun with the night before.

9. And she asked in despair if that was all they had left.

7. 1. When the young couple were getting married, they decided they would celebrate their first night together.

2. He said that he would go to the bathroom in the morning.

3. Morning came and the groom went into the bathroom but found no towel there.

4. When she got to the bathroom door, he had already opened it from inside.

5. She said that was all that they had left.

Section 12:

2. 1. Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon.

2. His toes were all twisted and discolored.

3. What happened to your feet?

4. I had a childhood disease called tolio.

5. It only affects the toes.

6. He removed his pants and revealed a pair of knees.

3. 1-C, 2-B, 3-D, 4-A, 5-E.

4. 1-f, 2-c, 3-d, 4-h, 5-b, 6-g, 7-Е, 8-А.

5. 1. He took off his shoes and socks.

2. What happened to your toes?

3. I had a childhood disease called measles.

4. He revealed an awful looking pair of knees.

5. It only affects the knees.

6. His wife gasped and said, «Don't tell me, you also had smallpox!»

6. 1. Two newlyweds were invited to their friend's house to spend the honeymoon here last year.

2. Just you wait! The shoes will be taken off in a moment.

3. The socks are being dried at present.

4. My toes are twisted because of the disease I had in childhood.

5. At last the pants have been removed.

6. His knees were definitely affected by polio.

7. 1. His wife wanted to know what had happened to his feet.

2. He told her he had had a childhood disease called tolio.

3. She asked if he meant polio.

4. She wanted to know what had happened to his knees.

5. He said he had also had kneesles.

6. She asked if he was having anything then.

7. He said it only affected the knees.

8. She asked not to tell her that he had also had smallcox.

8. 1. toe,

2. disease,

3. remove,

4. reveal,

5. amazement,

6. healthy,

7. wrestle,

8. groan,

9. bride,

10. awful.

Section 13:

2. 1. A man and his wife are visiting the local zoo.

2. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting dress.

3. They walk through the ape exhibit.

4. The gorilla is obviously excited at seeing the lady.

5. The man suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

6. Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall.

7. This drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.

3. True: 2, 3. False: 1, 4, 5, 6.

4. 1-D, 2-G, 3-C, 4-1, 5-H, 6-L, 7-A, 8-K, 9-B, 10-E, 11-J, 12-F.

5. 1. She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting dress, sleeveless, with straps.

2. The gorilla begins to go ape.

3. The gorilla is obviously excited at seeing the lady in the pink dress.

4. The husband suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.

5. He is making noises that would wake the dead.

6. The gorilla is just about to tear the bars down.

7. He quickly grabs her and flings into the cage.

6. 1. The man insisted that his wife wear a cute, loose-fitting dress.

2. It is imperative that we walk through the ape exhibit.

3. The husband proposed that his wife tease the poor fellow.

4. Then the husband urged her wife to let one of her straps fall.

5. It is necessary to tear the bars down.

6. It is important that you lift your dress up your thighs.

7. It was a recommendation that you grab your wife and fling her into the cage.

7. 1. I want you to visit the local zoo.

2. I expect you to wear this cute dress.

3. Don't make him go ape.

4. I saw him jumping up on the bars.

5. They heard the gorilla grunt and pound his chest with his free hand.

6. I watched her wiggling her bottom.

7. The husband noticed the ape being excited, and wanted his wife to tease the poor fellow even more.

8. 1. The local zoo is being visited by a man and his wife.

2. His chest is pounded with his free hand.

3. The gorilla is obviously excited by the pretty lady in the pink dress.

4. The dead would be woken by the noises.

5. The bars are being torn down by the gorilla.