Apache

Another day is gone and I am still all alone.

We never said good-bye.

Someone tell me why.

You were my guiding light, without you it is dark and I am lost.

We were supposed to be for ever and thanks to you I know how

it feels to be loved.

Stay close beside me. I miss you so much.

There is no one in the world that could ever replace you.

I dream of the day we will meet again, and for ever can begin.

I hope you have the same dreams too.

I love you Mathew.

X X X X

Mathew is buried in the new section of the graveyard and a bench has been placed opposite his grave for the many visitors that come and pay their respects for a man that made the ultimate sacrifice for us all.

Bootsy lovingly tends the grave, a ten-minute walk from the family’s home. Joan visits it daily, and Ina comes down from Dundee every few weeks. Delivering a red rose, she often lies down beside Mathew, and tells him about her life.

Back at Dishforth three months after our return, Billy, Geordie, Nick and I were asked to go down to 3 Commando Brigade’s HQ, Stonehouse Barracks in Plymouth, to meet Prince Philip. As Captain-General of the Royal Marines, he wanted to hear about their Helmand tour. We were told they wanted to thank us for our contribution at Jugroom Fort.

We were met at the landing site by two staff cars and whisked off to the officers’ mess, where a plethora of majors and colonels were waiting in a line.

‘What’s going on here?’ Billy whispered, as confused as I was. This kind of welcoming committee was mighty unusual for a few ageing warrant officers and a junior captain.

I shook Colonel Magowan’s hand. He just grinned at me.

‘Let me explain why you’re really here,’ said the brigade’s chief of staff. ‘Which one of you is which?’ He turned to me.

‘What’s your name?’

‘WO1 Macy, Sir.’

‘No, you’re WO1 Macy MC. Congratulations.’ He shook my hand. He turned to Geordie.

‘Staff Casey, sir.’

‘Now it’s Staff Sgt Casey MC.’

The chief of staff repeated the performance for Billy and Nick, who were both awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross. Billy’s DFC had arrived after all, and when he was least expecting it.

They explained that Geordie and I had got our awards for what we did on the ground at Jugroom, while Billy and Nick got theirs for bravery in the air. Military Crosses had never been given to Army Air Corps personnel before; we weren’t supposed to fight on the ground. The champagne came out from behind the bar and flowed in true Royal Marine style.

Finally we were ushered into a large hall along with nearly a hundred marines to meet Prince Philip. He’d come down to Stonehouse to congratulate everyone on the Operational Honours List due for publication the following day.

‘And these are the pilots who flew into the Jugroom Fort to rescue Lance Corporal Ford,’ the 3 Commando Brigade commander told the Prince when our turn came. The old Duke surveyed the four of us with a furrowed brow and issued his trademark grunt.

‘Yes…’ he said. ‘Are you all mad?’

A week later, Emily gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

In December, I was asked to Buckingham Palace, along with Geordie, Billy, Nick and Dave Rigg.

I was only allowed three guests but managed to take Emily, my son and daughter – and the baby strapped to the nearest grab handle. It was the first time in my entire military career I’d worn ceremonial Blues. It would also be my last – I was getting out of the army in a few weeks and I was already on resettlement leave.

We stood near the end of a very long investiture line in the palace’s giant ballroom, exchanging discreet banter. Dave Rigg got the biggest ribbing for leaving his rifle at the fort.

As we shuffled forward, waiting for our turn to come, I realised I’d never stand in uniform beside Billy, Geordie and Nick again. I knew then what I’d miss about the army. Not the pomp and ceremony, nor the laurels if you did something right (and definitely not the bollockings when we went too far). I’d miss serving alongside my friends.

Dave Rigg went first. Then it was my turn to approach the dark red dais. I wasn’t at all nervous, and to the disdain of the equerry I gave my family a wave before setting off.

‘And you must be the pilot,’ Her Majesty said, as I took the final step towards her. She was handed my Military Cross. ‘Were you very scared?’ This was a real honour. She hadn’t said more than two words to most of the folk before us.

‘Not really ma’am, it was all so fast…’