Ex-Prime Minister Tony Blair’s clandestine visit was the worst-kept secret in Camp Bastion; everyone had known about it for days. ‘Listen, I know you all know who’s coming out,’ the Boss said one night at an evening brief. ‘But from now on, please stop talking about it. It’s supposed to be classified.’ A posh-looking marquee was set up for Blair’s one-hour meet-and-greet visit, complete with the biggest tray of croissants I’d ever seen. In addition to opening a book on who could get the longest handshake with the PM, there was a challenge to see who could ask the oddest question of him and still get an answer. Darwin wanted to ask Blair for a picture – and then follow it up by handing him the camera to take a picture of us. In the end, we all simply gathered sheepishly around Blair; the only rebellion the odd thumbs-up behind him. After a fifteen-minute speech, we hadn’t learned anything new, and I wondered why he’d bothered to come all that way. Still, the bacon croissant was nice.
We quickly realised we were the only chance for Lance Corporal Ford, the marine behind enemy lines. With alternatives quickly falling by the wayside, we came up with a rescue plan that involved strapping marines to the Apaches’ wings. Squabbling among the ranks had cost us valuable time and so, with less fuel than was legally required to get back to camp, we began the rescue mission. There were a million what ifs. I had the answers, but not the time. A three-day planning conference would have been nice. Instead, I had twenty seconds. The best instructions I could give to the four marine volunteers from Colonel Magowan’s Command Post: strap yourselves to the wings so that, if shot, you don’t fall off. And, when we get to Jugroom Fort, rescue Lance Corporal Ford and strap yourselves back to the wings. As simple and as complicated as that.
GLOSSARY OF TERMS
105s: 105mm Light Gun – Towed Artillery used by the Paras and the Marines
2i/c: Second in Command
30 Mike Mike: Military slang for 30 millimetre or the Apache’s Cannon rounds
50 Cal: British Forces L1A1 Heavy Machine Gun – 12.7 mm (.50 inch) calibre tripod-mounted or vehicle-mounted automatic
A10: US Forces ground attack warplane nicknamed the Thunderbolt or Warthog
AA: Anti-Aircraft – known as ‘Double A’. A large calibre gun used against low-flying aircraft
AAA: Anti-Aircraft Artillery – known as ‘Triple A’. Very large calibre artillery pieces used to engage aircraft at higher altitudes than AA
AAC: Army Air Corps – corps of the British Army that operates helicopters and fixed wing aircraft
ADF: Automatic Direction Finder – Radio Navigation System
Affirm: Affirmative – air speak for Yes
Aircrew: People that crew the aircraft: pilots, navigators, door gunners and loadmasters
AH64: AH64A Apache – US Army Apache Attack Helicopter with no Radar, AH64D Longbow Apache – US Army Apache Attack Helicopter with Radar
AK47: Soviet assault rifle – 7.62 mm automatic