Аполлион

“I wantedyou to kill Seth, but it’s not what I need.”

My mouth dropped open. “That’s not even semantics!”

“And I didn’t know for sure then that there was a way to transfer his power to you,” he argued calmly. “I had my suspicions. So did my sister, but we couldn’t be sure. Either way, he cannot be allowed to take your power. If you cannot defeat him and take his power, then you must kill him.”

Apollo made it all sound so simple, like he was asking me to go to the store and pick up Crunchy Cheetos and if they didn’t have them in stock, to get Cheetos Puffs. Insane.

“I don’t want it to end like you fear, but there is only so much I can do to stay the hands of others.”

“Yeah, because after I take out this god—if we figure out who it is—there’s a good chance the gods will turn on me, because I will be a threat. And I bet they have an Order member just lying around, right? Even if I don’t do anything, they will act as judge and jury on a crime I haven’t committed?”

There was that damn pause again and then he said, “Everyone dies, but in the end it comes down to what you are willing to die for, Alexandria.”

Gods, there was a part of me—a huge part of me—that wanted to kick Apollo in the balls, but I got it. As messed up as it was, I got it. And maybe that was why I wasn’t flipping out on him. The loss of one life, maybe two, was worth the safety of billions. I could see that and if I was totally impartial about this—say, they weren’t talking about me—then I’d probably even support it.

But it was me.

It would be me.

That was a lot to swallow. It was something that I couldn’t really even begin to process. I felt too selfish, but I also knew what had to be done.

Gods, I was so not old enough or mature enough to be making these kinds of decisions.

It grew so quiet between us that the gentle winds stirring the branches seemed too loud. If I didn’t have my freaky god-sensing abilities right now, I’d have thought he’d left. But he was still there, waiting.

“And there’s no other way?” I asked.

He didn’t respond, and I took his silence as a no.

Heart heavy, I lifted my head. “What will happen if I die?”

Apollo didn’t answer immediately. “You will have a warrior’s death. There is pride in that and you will want for nothing.”

Except to live, but I figured that was a moot point. “Will you make sure that… that Aiden will be okay?”

The god’s eyes met mine and he nodded.

Throat burning and tightening, I focused on the dark gravel. “He… he had to see his parents afterward, Apollo. I don’t want him to see me, okay? Can you make sure he doesn’t?”

“If that is what you wish.”

I pressed my lips together, relieved a little that Aiden would be spared that horror—maybe not the bulk of it, but some of it. “And will you make sure Marcus and the rest of them are okay?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” I swallowed, but I still felt like I was choking. “I want to be left alone for awhile.”

“Alex—”

I looked then, meeting his gaze. “Please leave.”

He looked like he was going to say something, but then he nodded and simply vanished. I don’t know how long I stood there, but eventually I shuffled over to the porch and sat down on the steps.

The night air was still cool and it stung my hot cheeks. Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Crying served nothing. It wouldn’t change what would happen. If I somehow managed to get to Seth, transfer his power to me before he took mine, and destroy the mystery god, I’d still be put down like a rabid animal. Possibly even Seth would be, as well, although he’d no longer be a threat. Maybe without me around to influence him, he’d get better. He’d just be the Apollyon then, like it was supposed to be—only one of us and all that jazz.

I rubbed my eyes until they ached.

What day was it? Sometime in April? Less than a month from now, I was supposed to be graduating from the Covenant. That was so obviously not going to happen. So much had changed, and so much would never be the same. I wondered if my Fate had changed, too, or if this had always been a part of it and no one had thought to clue me in.

An idea occurred to me. It was insane, but I thought about letting the wonky connection with Seth happen. The ache was in my temples. Maybe I could tell him what I knew. Maybe there was a part of him that still cared enough.

I shook my head and lowered my hands.

Seth would probably just use it as another reason for me to jump ship.

Taking several deep breaths, I pushed thoughts of Seth out of my head and, for some reason, I thought about my father. Features roughened by a hard life fell into place. Broad cheekbones and a strong chin spoke of a warrior’s face. We really didn’t look too much alike, but it was his eyes… they were mine.

I tried not to think about my dad. Perhaps that was wrong, but it was hard sitting here knowing that he was in the Catskills. And it was even harder acknowledging that there might be a good chance we’d never meet face-to-face, aware of what we were to each other.