Apostles of Doom

“Pfff!” Tizzy dismissed Reggie’s accusation. “What, are you asking if they are going to smoke the mushrooms and then look up and see a bunch of giant, multi-colored, bat-winged, vaguely porcine hooved creatures with giant tusks and a ten-foot-tall, four-armed purple dude with wings, a sinuous tail, two sets of massive pectorals, twelve pack abs and a perpetually erect penis? All of whom are chanting, dancing and flying around in circles to the beat of drums and a bunch of horns? Well then, yes, they will be hallucinating, but they would be seeing the same thing whether or not they smoked the mushrooms!”

Reggie paused in thought. “Okay, good point. Can I keep some mushrooms for myself?”

Tizzy chuckled. “Much better, but no! But if you are a good demon, I will get you some more later.”

“This is going to make an enormous stash,” Reggie noted, looking at all the ingredients.

Tizzy nodded. “We are going to need a lot, enough for several hundred mortals to share in their pipes.”

“How many people are going to be in this ritual?” Antefalken asked with a skeptical expression.

“Well, it varies depending on which version you do. But it looks like they are planning on using the full henge and everyone nearby. I mean, naturally, everyone who can come will want to be here. First new D’Orc in over four thousand years; even longer since we invested a shaman. We need stuff for them so we can harvest their mana.”

“That’s an incredible number of people and mana. My summoning was just a few wizards,” Reggie said.

Tizzy twisted his head. “Not just a few wizards. No, you said your accursed mistress is Merit-Ptah, beloved of Ptah. I’ve met her and her consort in several of their previous lifetimes. They are not only powerful ancient wizards, but animages and priests as well. Given what you’ve said about their repopulation project, you can bet they had some divine intervention to boost their mana supply.”

He paused. “But the thing is, I give the wizards this: their ability to safely package up tons of mana in their spells, runes and gadgets gives them a serious edge in terms of efficiency and safety compared to how an animage or shaman has to do it. Shamans need a lot more raw mana to do the same thing the wizards do with their nifty little spells. Plus, orcs are a lot harder to transform than humans. Who’d have thought? They do not go gently to their Doom!” The octopod shook his head in what seemed to be amazement.

“You really know a lot about this stuff!” Estrebrius marveled, looking at Tizzy with awe.

Tizzy grinned back.

“You were gone until last night; you seem to have gotten up to speed really fast on what needs to be done. Did Tamarin brain zap you?” Antefalken asked.

Tizzy looked at the bard as if Antefalken was the crazy one. “Why would I need to get up to speed? I’ve been to at least half of all D’Orcings that have ever occurred.”

Reggie did a double take. “What? You’ve been through a lot of ascensions?”

Tizzy shrugged. “Of course, all the early ones! Eventually it got boring and I just kept the supply chain stocked.”

“All the early ones?” Boggy asked.

“Sure. Who do you think helped Orcus develop the process?” Tizzy asked as if this were common knowledge. “He, I and Vosh An-Non, the great shaman, also the first D’Orc we ever did. Well, first one we did who lived through the process. It was a mite touch and go for a while. By the time we got to Arg-nargoloth and Darg-Krallnom, we pretty much had the bugs worked out.”

“So why aren’t you up there advising them on the ritual?” Reggie asked incredulously. “I am sure they could have used your help.”

Tizzy gave a small head shake as if he did not understand what Reggie was saying. “Hello! Who would be taking care of the stash? Do you know how hard it is to round up all this stuff and prepare it on short notice?” He threw his arms up in the air and exclaimed, “Enough questions! We need to get to work. I am probably going to have to help with the poppy seed pods; scoring them is a real pain. Besides, Tom will do just fine. Making D’Orcs is like making babies. You never forget how. Trust me!” Tizzy waved away Reggie’s concerns.

“Uhm… except that Tom has never made a D’Orc?” Reggie noted.

That stopped Tizzy. “Hmm, yes. Forgot that, my bad. Well, no worries; he’s obviously made babies! Where else would Rupert have come from?”

Nysegard, Krallnomton Henge: Mid Fifth Period

Tom closed the gateway behind the party going to Etterdam with Karth Death Cheater. For the version of the ritual they had come up with, the anointed one, Karth, needed to be on a different plane from the one to which he was summoned; it could not be the Abyss because that was the third plane in the so-called Dimensional Triad.