Apostles of Doom

“Minor archdemon? My dear sir. There are no such things as minor archdemons!” The demon shook his head, crossing his arms on his chest.

“So what is up with the décor?” Sir Samwell asked, waving his arm at their surroundings. “This is not Asmodeus’s style.”

“How do you know Asmodeus’s style?” Gaius demanded.

Sir Samwell turned his head to face Gaius. “I spent a few decades—”

“In his prison,” Sir Lady Serah finished.

“Is there any demon’s prison you haven’t been in, Sir Samwell?” Gadius asked.

“Sir Samwell?” The majordomo demon suddenly dropped his arms and stared directly at Samwell, eyes going wide.

Sir Samwell shook his head in what the others assumed was resignation. “Yes. Sir Samwell. And you would do well to remember who I am and my history with your master.”.

The demon noticeably gulped.

“So, as I said, this is not his style of décor,” Sir Samwell repeated.

“Ah. Yes. It is actually Lord Hesseforthalus’s castle. He holds it for my master,” t respect — or trepidation — than he had showed before.

“Hah! Denubian! I knew it!” Sir Samwell exclaimed, gesturing to the other knights for confirmation.

“Sir Samwell believes it to be a new castle,” Sir Lady Serah said. “Is it?”

The majordomo demon gulped again and nodded. “It is but a few days old. We just moved in when these barbarians in the fish tank showed up. I take it they are with you?”

Gaius nodded. “They are. You built this place in a matter of days?”

The demon shrugged. “Denubian Craftmanship^TM is well known; they are some of the best builders and engineers in the universe. If they can Denubaform^TM an entire planet in seven days, what’s a little fortress in the Abyss?”

Gaius shook his head and glanced at Gadius. “We digress too much. We need to get in and out.”

“Take us to your prisoner, demon!” Gadius demanded.

“Are you deaf? I have already told you there is no prisoner here,” the demon said angrily. “You are starting to annoy me.”

“We know Sir Talarius is here!” Gaius nearly shouted.

“Our locator shows his position up in that tower!” Gadius said, pointing up the spiral staircase with his locator.

“Sir Talarius?” The demon grimaced. “I have no idea who that is!”

“Likely story, demon!” Sir Lady Serah replied. “Who then, is being held prisoner in that tower?”

The majordomo demon shook his head in annoyance. “You people have one-track minds. How many times do I have to tell you no one is being held prisoner! You are so rudely pointing to the chambers of Lady Hesseforthalus!”

“Lady Hesseforthalus?” Sir Samwell repeated questioningly. “I was not aware that he was married?”

“Well, apparently you just don’t run in the right social circles!” the demon said. “He’s been happily married for almost ten years now.”

Sir Samwell shook his head. “You know that’s like a week in Abyss time.”

The demon shrugged. “So? They are still on their honeymoon! And look! She got herself a brand new castle! Talk about a loving husband.”

Sir Samwell sighed and rubbed his helmeted head with his mailed glove. He turned to the other knights. “You are right enough. We shall have this gentleman”—he gestured to the demon—“escort us up the tower to see Lady Hesseforthalus, and find out what your detector is pointing at.”

The other three nodded. “Best thought I’ve heard since we entered this foyer!” Gadius said.

Sir Samwell gestured to the demon to lead them up the stairs.

The demon frowned at him. “I’m a majordomo, not a butler!” he said with a sniff.

“And if you don’t lead us to whatever our locator is locating, I will personally chop you down to a valet!” Sir Samwell said, raising his sword threateningly.

The demon blanched. “My, my. No need to get so testy! All you had to do was ask politely. Is that so much?”

Sir Lady Serah let out a very loud sigh and gestured, mimicking Sir Samwell moments before, for the majordomo to take the lead.

“Very well, but you should put those sharp sticks away. Denubian stairs can be a bit awkward; you don’t want to accidentally fall on your swords or anything convenient like that,” the demon said, heading for the stairwell.

They followed him up what admittedly were rather treacherous stairs, the majordomo demon muttering under his breath the entire time.

Gadius carefully watched both his feet and the locator as they climbed. “We are getting closer!”

“This is a rather tall tower, and a rather dizzying stairwell,” Sir Lady Serah noted.

“Denubians have a remarkable sense of balance. I think it’s due to all those ears of theirs; lots of ear canals. I’ve heard it’s nearly impossible to give one of them vertigo,” Sir Samwell commented. “But when they do get it, stand clear!”

“Again, you are very remarkably informed,” Sir Lady Serah complimented Sir Samwell with a small chuckle.

Sir Samwell flipped his visor up and gave her a smile. “Knowledge is a never-ending quest! It is something all great men and women should pursue their entire life.”

“Indeed.” Sir Lady flipped her visor up and beamed back at him before closing it again.