Apostles of Doom

“A brief period of brief light?” Czernobog asked. “As in atunlight?”

“Yes. Something like an extended flash of atunlight from a single location,” Teodor said. “A few small burns were incurred, but no casualties at the main lines.”

“So, it seems they encountered a high priest of one of the Siblings and met with their end.” Czernobog shook his head in dismay as he sat down at his desk. The loss of Vladimir was quite unfortunate and annoying. However, his primary concern was for his son, Rede. After losing contact with Rede upon his mother’s death, he had been fortunate to recover him and place him in Vladimir’s care for training. It had been ahead of his original schedule, but the mother’s death had been unexpected. When she had died, his links to the family were broken.

Rede would have survived the atunlight. That was, after all, the point in having a dhampyr, a trusted ally and family member who could work in daylight more reliably than a ghast. The question was, had he been put down or simply captured?

“Who or what do I have inside the Citadel? Anyone?” Czernobog asked even as Teodor started going through his notes. It would be most inconvenient, and from a timing perspective, expensive, if he had to start over and sire another dhampyr. It would also mean another deal with that demon he so despised.

Mount Doom, Demon Suite: Late Sixth Period

Talarius opened the door to the demon suite to find Tizzy, Boggy and Estrebrius playing cards. As expected, Reggie was out cavorting with his perverted mistress. Talarius closed the door as he came in quickly. However, upon glancing at the table he had to halt and raise his visor — allowing the hot air to enter his suit — and stare at the table.

“How are you playing whist with only three people?” the knight asked, puzzled. It was at this point that he realized that Tizzy was holding two hands of cards, one in each set of hands.

“Not a problem!” Tizzy exclaimed. “I have always been of more than one mind on most issues, so I can easily play as two people!”

“You should see him try to screw himself over!” Estrebrius said enthusiastically.

Talarius shook his head, not understanding. “What? Is he not partnering with himself?”

“Certainly not — how would we keep him from talking to himself behind our backs in his head?” Boggy asked. “I’m partnered with the upper hand; Estrebrius is partnered with the lower hand.” Boggy shook his head as if Talarius were completely clueless.

Talarius shook his head, closing his eyes only briefly.

Don’t let them distract you! Ruiden said.

I won’t, Talarius replied. “You!” He pointed at Boggy.

“Me?” Boggy asked, bringing a hand to his chest.

“Yes. I need to speak with you,” Talarius said, then glared at Tizzy. “Not you. You need to remain silent.”

“What?” Tizzy asked in mock horror. “Me be silent? I think that’s asking a lot!”

“It really is,” Estrebrius agreed, nodding.

Talarius closed his eyes again, gathering patience. “No, I need to ask Boggy some questions and I don’t want you to answer them, even if you know the answers.” He opened his eyes and stared directly into Tizzy’s.

“No! Why can’t I answer questions that I know the answer to?” Tizzy asked, puzzled and seemingly offended.

“Because you are a menace to reality!” Talarius nearly shouted.

“Ooh!” Tizzy exclaimed. “That’s a new title for me! I like it. Brilliant! I am going to use that on my business cards!”

“Tizzy, I need you to be quiet so I can get answers from Boggy. Not from you. I don’t trust what you say.”

“That’s not very nice!” Tizzy pouted.

“If you do not stay silent”—Talarius reached for Ruiden’s hilt—“I will slice off all four of your arms and since you will not be able to pick them up to reattach them, you will have to regrow them from scratch!”

Tizzy grinned and tried to clap while still holding his cards. He glanced at Boggy and then Estrebrius. “See! What did I say?” He looked back to Talarius. “He’s adapting very nicely, getting the hang of this place. Spoken like a true native!” Tizzy gave Talarius a huge grin. A bare moment later, his brow furrowed and he frowned and looked at his shoulders. “Wait!” He looked back at Talarius. “How do you know that my arms won’t grow back four Tizzys?”

“Lilith forbid!” Estrebrius said shock and mock horror. “That would be a nightmare.”

“I think that would be what they call an existential threat to reality!” Boggy said, nodding. He looked up at Talarius. “Please, however annoying he is, you can’t risk it! We’d end up with five Tizzys! The multiverse isn’t big enough for that!”

Talarius sighed. He was beaten before he even asked the first question. He wanted nothing more than to turn around and leave; however, he could not do that. He looked imploringly at Tizzy. “Please, Tizzy. Would you please remain silent while Boggy answers my questions?” he asked.

Tizzy made a harrumphing noise and crossed all of his arms, frowning.