Babayaga

At this, the American cut him off, talking now even more volubly with a great booming voice that echoed through the room. This interruption once again infuriated Maroc, and he started shouting and shaking his finger in the air. “Tell this man to shut up while I am speaking! I am the law here! I want an explanation!” Vidot was attempting to make sense to both sides but neither would be quiet. The American, while still shouting, strode to the middle of the room and slammed his briefcase down on the countertop. Maroc was still yelling, Vidot was trying to translate, but then the American opened up the case and everyone got quiet.

The American peeled two piles of ten-thousand-franc notes off the stack, placed them on the counter, and pushed them toward Maroc. Vidot explained, in a slightly disapproving tone, “He says he would like to pay us, in order to reimburse us both for wasting the Prefecture of Police’s time.”

Maroc looked at the money, he looked at Vidot, and then he looked at the American. “He is offering this as some sort of a payoff?”

“Yes, that appears to be the case. It is clearly an attempted bribe,” said Vidot.

Maroc’s face grew red with revulsion and he slammed his hand down hard on the counter. “This is absolutely disgusting, Vidot. Tell him that as an officer of the law I am appalled at his offer. Anyone with even an idiot’s sense of justice would see that our time—which he has absolutely wasted—is worth much more than this insulting sum.”

Vidot looked at him, stunned.

“Go ahead,” said Maroc. “Tell him.”

“I will not,” said Vidot. “Crimes have been committed in this room, there are bodies buried in the basement, there is a homicidal scientist loose—”

“You tell him what I said, Detective, or I swear I will have you tied up in months of internal investigations for the little holiday you’ve been off on.” Maroc stepped up to Vidot and seethed in his face. “And I promise you it will be a very thorough investigation, an inquest in which even the tiniest stones of your personal life will be turned over, and I am sure you do not want to put your sweet wife through that, do you?”

Vidot’s eyes flashed as Maroc let the last words slip out. Maroc felt bad playing so low, it was not his style, but he was not about to let this arrogant detective get between him and the American’s money.

Vidot slowly turned and spoke to the American, who without hesitation reached into the case again and unpacked more cash, not stopping until almost fifty percent of the case’s contents was stacked high on the counter. The American looked up at Maroc, gesturing with his hands as if to say, “Is this enough?” Maroc smiled and pantomimed that he should put the cash back into the case. The American looked at it, hesitated for a moment, and then refilled the briefcase and handed the whole thing to Maroc.

Moments later, Maroc was walking out with a taciturn Vidot by his side and the case of cash in his hand. The mission was over. He turned to wave farewell to the American and his associate, who both stood in the doorway, watching them go. “What did he say as we were leaving?” he asked Vidot.

“He said he hopes someday he can show us the same hospitality in America that France has showed him here.”

“Ha ha, I bet he does.” Maroc felt absolutely victorious: like Charles Martel, who had fearlessly fought back the hordes of invading infidels at Tours, he had just taken on the great American army and won.

When he and Vidot got into the car, he did not start the engine right away. They both sat still, facing the small laboratory building. Maroc was waiting for his heart to stop its tremendous and wonderful beating. The case of money sat between them. Finally he looked at Vidot. “You can take your share now.”

“Excuse me?”

Maroc patted the case and smiled. “Go ahead, take some.” Vidot did not move. Maroc went on: “I was very rude to you in there. I owe you an apology. Besides, I am not as greedy as you think I am. So, go on.”

“No,” Vidot said, shaking his head, “I cannot take this money.”

“Oh, but you can.” Maroc turned and faced him while Vidot continued to stare straight ahead. “You can and you should, Detective, for your own protection. You see, if you do not accept my generosity, you will stay absolutely pure, and I do not like pure people. In fact, they make me sick. So, please, Detective, it has been an eventful enough morning, so simply take your share.” He pushed the case forward, cracking it open so that the money faced the detective. Slowly and reluctantly Vidot looked down at the cash.

Watching the detective’s hand reaching tentatively into the case, Maroc felt calm again. In fact, he felt better than he had all day. Vidot paused. “I do have one request.”

“What’s that?” asked Maroc.

“Do you think you could drop me off by my tailor?” he asked.

Maroc burst out laughing. There, see, he said to himself, no one is as noble as they seem. In the end, we are all parasites.