Bad Glass

They weren’t exactly vigilant. It took them a moment before they saw me coming. And when they finally did, they lazily motioned me forward.

I pulled up to the orange-and-white blockade, and one of the soldiers—the one with the active hands—stepped forward and made a gesture, motioning for me to get out of the car. “Step clear of the vehicle, please,” he said. He added the “please” with a smile, and that took me off guard. I’d run through the border scenario countless times during my drive up from California, trying to figure out any angle that would get me through the military gauntlet and into the city. Not once had I considered the possibility of a simple, polite conversation.

I got out of the car and shut the door behind me. I glanced up at the barricade and saw the other soldier watching us carefully. He hadn’t moved from his position in the middle of the road, but he had swung his gun forward.

“Let’s see some ID,” my soldier said.

I got the wallet from my back pocket and slipped my driver’s license free. I held it out to the soldier, noticing a slight tremor in my hand. My nerves are usually pretty good. But then again, I’m not usually trying to sneak my way into quarantined cities.

The soldier moved forward, plucked the license from my hand, and took a quick step back.

“Dean Walker,” he said, reading my name off the card. He flipped the license over and glanced at its back. I don’t know what he was expecting to see there. Maybe a bribe taped to the back. He glanced up at me, smiled, and nodded.

He flipped my license to the soldier at the barricade, sending it flying in a neat arc. The soldier fumbled with his gun for a moment before managing to get his hand up in time to catch the license. He studied it briefly, then picked up a two-way radio and began murmuring into its mouthpiece.

“What are you doing here, Mr. Walker?” my soldier asked. “Do you have business inside? Official business?”

“My brother …” I said, pausing to clear my throat. I let the anxiety into my voice, hoping it would add weight to my lie. “My family thought he got out with the evacuation. We thought he was at his mother-in-law’s house in Idaho, and I guess they thought he was with us in Seattle. We … we don’t talk too much.”

The soldier held up his hand, stopping me before I could go on. “What’s your brother’s name?”

“Randy.”

The soldier turned back toward his comrade. “Check on a Randy, too. Or a Randolph. Same last name.” The other soldier let out a brief grunt and returned to the radio.

“I need to get in there,” I said, nodding toward the city. “I need to find him and his wife.”

The soldier shook his head. His smile was gone, and that completely transformed his face, aging him before my eyes. I’d originally placed him in his mid to late twenties, but now, with the smile gone, he looked at least ten years older. His eyes were ice blue, and perhaps a bit too wide.

“That’s not going to happen,” he said. “We’re checking our records right now. If we ran into your brother in the quarantine zone, his name will be on the list.” He tapped at the side of his nose; if this was some kind of signal, I didn’t catch its meaning. “And now your name will be there, too, if it’s not already. And if it is, if you’re trafficking in and out …” The soldier shrugged, letting me fill in the consequences.

“I just want to get in,” I said. “I’m not going to do anything—”

He held up his hand and shook his head, his lips set in a pained grimace. “No,” he said, lowering his voice, “you don’t want in. You just don’t know any better. Trust me. There’s nothing in there you want to see. Nothing healthy. And if your brother’s in there …” Another shrug.

I studied the soldier for a long, silent moment, all of my plans, all of my lies—my nonexistent brother—stopped short by the pain in his voice. “What is it?” I asked, my voice a faint whisper. “What’s in there? They aren’t telling us anything.”

The soldier glanced back toward the barricade; his partner was still on the radio, lost in his own conversation. “I spent some time in city center while the military was setting up infrastructure. They had us guarding the government buildings and patrolling the streets, not even doing house-to-house searches—I don’t think anyone’s doing house-to-house, not anymore.” He paused. There was a brief tremor across his forehead, his muscles convulsing. “That place … it does things to you. No explanation. It just happens. There were twenty people in my National Guard unit. Three disappeared, one killed herself, and one gouged out his own eyes—he just didn’t want to see anymore. The poor bastard. When I was transferred out …” He shook his head and managed a brief smile. “I think that’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, right up there with the birth of my baby girl. Now, out here, I get to sleep at the base, thirty miles away. And I don’t … I don’t hear things—”