Baumgartner generations: Janie

“You’re so hard,” I cried as he thrust, deep and long at first, matching his breath, and then shallow and fast, making me bite my lip and wrap myself around him, arms and legs both.

“Come for me, Janie,” he begged, his full weight on me now, his hips grinding.

“Oh god, I can’t wait. Your pussy is so fucking hot!”

“It’s okay.” I squeezed him with the muscles of my cunt, making him groan and buck. He buried his face in my hair, his breath hot, panting in my ear, his cock driving me into the bed.

“Arrrrggggh!” He gave a strangled cry, trying to stay quiet, as he shuddered against me, his fingers digging into my shoulders. He came inside me, I felt it, his cock pulsing. Then his thrusts began to slow as he kissed my neck and the tops of my breasts while I cradled his head against my chest.

“You didn’t come,” he murmured.

I shrugged, “Don’t worry about it.”

Some crazy part of me was justifying this because I hadn’t-as if that made it somehow okay or better.

“Oh Janie,” he whispered, rubbing his cheek over the soft swell of my cleavage.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

I stiffened. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” He sounded sad and I stroked his hair, short, baby fine and soft at the nape of his neck, so different from Josh’s curls. “You’re so obviously in love with him.”

“I can’t help it.” I told him the same thing I’d told Catherine.

“I know.” He sighed. “He’s a good guy.”

“He is,” I agreed, kissing the top of his head. “And so are you.”

“Are you going to tell him?” TJ asked. “Or are you just going to end things with us?”

I startled, blinking up at the ceiling. “I…don’t know.”

“He may understand.” TJ was beside me now, tracing circles around my navel.

“But he’s going to want you to himself. After Catherine, I don’t blame him.” I felt tears prick my eyes. “I don’t either.”

“We’ve been so lucky to have you.” He kissed my belly now, his breath warm.

“To love you. So very lucky.”

“I’m lucky, too.”

His cheek rested against my tummy, his hand moving, soft and easy, just stroking my skin lightly, over my thighs.

“You know, when we started this thing, I thought it would be great, something to add to our sex life-I knew Ronnie liked being with women and missed it. But then you came along, and just…you stole my heart, Janie.”

His words made me want to cry and I fought my tears, swallowing hard. “How can you give your heart to more than one person?”

He hugged my hips. “You can love a million people at once. I love Ronnie, but I love you, too. Just like I love Beth, and I’ll love this little baby that’s on the way just as much.”

“So I can love you and Josh, too?” I whispered, feeling tears slip, hot and wet, down my temples, falling onto my pillow.

“Of course you can.”

“Because I do,” I admitted, closing my eyes against it even as I said the words. “I love you, TJ.”

His lips were soft on my belly, a tender acknowledging kiss. “I know.”

“But…” I struggled with this next bit as tears slipped past my temples in rivers now. “But I don’t know if I can have you both…even if I love you both.” He squeezed me, hard. “I know.”

Chapter Ten

I crept back to bed barefoot from the bathroom, avoiding the loose boards-after four days in the cabin, I knew where they were now. My mother wasn’t kidding when she said they had plenty of room! There were four bedrooms downstairs and five upstairs. TJ and I had an upstairs corner one and the view from the window was incredible.

I stopped to peer out in the early morning light, seeing the sun just coming up over the lake, spreading over the horizon like honey drizzled from heaven. The water was clear and cold-I knew, because I’d been in it a few times already, but it was nothing like swimming in the warm waters of Key West, where we’d vacationed for years. The lake was now still and calm, like a sheet of glass, and as I watched, a deer and her fawn appeared out of the woods to drink at the rim.

Breathless, I made a noise in my throat, something to wake Josh, so I could share this moment with him, but then I heard him snort and start to snore. That made me smile and drop the curtain, moving away from the stunning beauty at the window to climb back into bed with him. I snuggled up close to him, nudging him a little, making him roll to his side so he’d drool on the pillow instead of snore in my ear.

“Janie?” he mumbled as I lifted my shirt, so we were pressed skin-to-skin, belly-to-belly.

“I saw a deer,” I whispered, the wonder of it still in my voice. “It was magical.”

“Really?” he murmured, not opening his eyes. “Where’s my gun?”

“Ooo you’re mean.” I hissed, nudging him playfully on the arm. “I’m telling you, it was magical.”

He smirked. “Why? Did it fly?”

I giggled, sliding my hand over the bare expanse of his chest. “That would be a rein deer.”

“Good eatin’,” he said, grinning and opening his eyes, his reflexes quick enough to stop the knee coming for his crotch.

“I’ll give you good eatin’.” I rolled him onto his back, pulling my t-shirt off and tossing it aside as I straddled his face.