Berries and Greed

Fuck, I was in love with Greid.

I didn’t know why I was panicking. Maybe it was because I didn’t feel in control of my emotions all of a sudden. We’d been moving so slowly, easing into our friendship, and now easing into a deeper, more intimate relationship, but slowly. Giving me time to think about it all, to process what I wanted for myself and what I wanted with him. And now it felt like I’d just been… walloped in the face with one of the most intense emotions I’d ever experienced, and I had no idea why it had hit me now. Why a few words scrawled on a napkin by a famous actor had made the realisation thud into the pit of my stomach like a lead ball.

“Berry?” Greid’s voice made me jump out of my skin. I looked back up at him, knowing my eyes were dazed and a little wild at the realisation pounding in my head, to see his mouth twitching. “You look like you’re still in shock from meeting her,” he said teasingly.

“Oh.” I laughed a little too shrilly. “Yeah, well, I definitely wasn’t expecting it. But she was really nice. And she said she’d be back at the bar tomorrow evening if you want to meet her.”

Greid’s eyes went wide. He frantically shook his head, glancing down at the napkin. “Shit, no. No way. I’ll get all stupid and tongue-tied. She’ll think I’m a total loser. Or a weird stalker fan.”

“No, she won’t!” I hesitated, shifting on my feet, and guiltily admitted, “Although… I did mention that you had a crush on her in that sexy crime-fighting show.”

“Oh my god, Beryl.” He cringed, covering his face with a hand. “Now I definitely can’t meet her.”

I laughed, giving his stomach a gentle nudge. “Oh come on, she knows she’s hot. I bet she’s had millions of fans drooling over her.”

“I don’t drool over her.” Greid dropped his hand to shoot me a mock glare, then mumbled, “Anymore. But, I mean, she did always wear those tiny shorts on that show…”

Chuckling, I took the napkin and the bag of snacks still looped over his wrist and set them on the console table, then helped him take his coat off. “So go meet her tomorrow! If you want to, that is.”

“I don’t know,” he said uncertainly, hanging his coat up. “I can’t think right now. My brain’s still scrambled from working on that fucking headpiece.”

“Did you get it done?”

“Yeah, thank fuck. I’ll send it off tomorrow.”

“Good.” I grinned up at him as he approached. “I want to see it before you package it up, though. Will you show me in the morning?”

“Sure.” He stopped in front of me, threading his fingers through my hair and lightly scratching at my scalp with his claws, making me want to purr. He grinned, sharp teeth gleaming. “Your hair’s all crazy.”

I laughed, my heart once again going nuts as I wrapped my arms around his hips. “My hair’s always crazy.”

“Yeah.” He sifted through the strands. “I love it.”

My pulse leapt at the L-word coming from his mouth. As terrifying as it seemed when I hadn’t fully gotten to grips with it yet, a part of me was suddenly desperate to hear him say it. To hear him tell me.

My Aunt Violet was the only person who’d ever told me they loved me. My mom obviously hadn’t, having taken off after birthing me without a look back, and I didn’t have a single memory of my dad ever saying it. Ever saying anything a child needed to hear. That they were wanted and loved.

I tried to imagine Greid looking down at me, taking my face in his enormous hands, and telling me that he loved me, his big yellow eyes solemn and focused solely on me. My gut went all weird and fluttery, heart rate picking up speed yet again. Pure joy mingling with panic.

Fuckety fuck. I was definitely completely in love with him.

But I had no idea how strongly he felt about me, and that made me really freaking nervous. Sure, I knew he liked me. I knew he was attracted to me. But he’d been burned before in a relationship, and the fact that we lived together didn’t mean I could assume he was in this for the long haul. We’d had sex, but we hadn’t slept in the same bed. There was still a line there—a divide—and neither of us had brought up crossing it.

“Okay, you totally need to go to bed.” Greid’s hand shifted to cup the side of my face, his thumb smoothing over the skin beneath my eye. “Your eyes have gone all glassy and unfocused again. Was she really that amazing? If you run off with Parin var Gelligar, I’ll be kinda pissed, but I’ll understand. Do you think she still has those tiny shorts from the show?”

I burst out laughing, Greid’s cute dorkiness managing to, at least temporarily, tamp down the chaotic emotions suddenly swirling inside me. “You could always ask her tomorrow,” I said teasingly.

He gave me a dry look. “Yeah, sure, and while I’m at it I’ll ask for her home address. And her shoe size. Just to really hammer home the awkward creep vibe I try so hard to give off when I’m out in public.”