Berries and Greed

“You’re not a wimp,” he said immediately. “You just had a bad start in life. It makes sense you’d want to hold on to what feels safe and comfortable to you. But you seem… You’re… I don’t know.” His shoulders rose in a shy little shrug. “You seem pretty self-assured. Confident.”

That made me grin at him. “Thanks.”

His yellow eyes darted down to my mouth and away, ears fluttering as he shifted nervously.

“You know…” Flustered, he shot me another quick look. “If you did want to leave, experience the real world, we could… You could…”

“I’m not becoming your human sex toy,” I told him flatly, which made him glare at me.

“I told you I didn’t come here for that.”

That made me feel a little bad, because he had told me that. And I believed him. He’d come here for a… companion. Which surely meant he was lonely.

“Sorry,” I said gruffly. “I know. What… what were you going to say?”

And why did I suddenly want to hear it? Why was my belly filling with excited nerves? Talking to him about all this—talking to someone about it properly for the first time in my life—had made me feel… restless.

I imagined him telling the high priest he’d changed his mind and leaving, never coming back. I imagined going back to my nice, airy room, getting into my big bed and waking up tomorrow to work on the vineyards with the same people I’d spent every single day with for years. And I imagined doing it again the next day. And the next. For the rest of my life.

Greid cleared his throat, fiddling with his suit cuff. “Well, I did come here for a roommate or whatever, and you’re the only one who doesn’t creep me the fuck out. If you’re interested, I… You could try it out. See how you like the world outside.”

My lips twitched. I crossed my arms and shot him a suspicious look. “What exactly would being your ‘roommate or whatever’ entail?”

“Not sex,” he said immediately. “That wasn’t what… It would just mean living with me. But my house is pretty big. You’d have your own room, obviously. We’d just…” He shrugged shyly. “I don’t know. Hang out sometimes. Watch TV and smoke some shade, if you’re interested in trying it. Maybe eat together every now and then.”

Damn him. My unfeeling heart was softening. He was clearly lonely and just wanted some company. And what he was offering me… A safe, secure way to experience the world without the stress of immediately having to find a job or somewhere to live.

A legitimate way out of here with none of the worry.

My gut clenched with nerves. What if I hated it, though? What if I couldn’t handle the total culture shock? I’d always told myself I stayed here purely because it was easy, because I was successfully duping everyone for a comfortable life, but now that I was faced with the actual prospect of living outside of this place, I felt… scared. Greid had told me I wasn’t a wimp, but… I felt like one.

The outside world seemed utterly terrifying, now that it was within reach.

“If you hate it, you could come back,” Greid told me, as if he knew what I was thinking. It made me feel painfully exposed, like all my insecurities were written on my skin. “I’d make something up about how it was my fault and you were the perfect mate but I couldn’t keep you.” He snorted, then gave me a pointed look. “I can be a good liar when I need to be.”

I highly doubted that, but I didn’t say anything as my lips curved into a tiny smile. Not that it would matter anyway—Greid could saunter into the compound and tell everyone that he ejaculated dark matter and shat tennis balls, and they’d all lap it up and believe every word without question.

“So… I’d just be, like, your roommate?” I asked cautiously. “Or would I be more like a kept woman, waiting around the house for you to come home?”

He grimaced. “Definitely fucking not. I could help you find a job, if you wanted. And anyway, I work from home.”

For the first time, he shot me a tentative grin. It revealed all his sharp, yellowish-white teeth and made those smile lines crack open wider, as if he could unhinge his lower jaw and have his smile stretch all the way to the sides of his face.

I couldn’t help it—I smiled back. “What do you do? For work, I mean.”

“I make jewellery.”

I felt my eyes spark with interest. “Really? Cool.”

Suddenly, my mind was whirling with all the different things out there. All the different jobs and hobbies and lifestyles. Did I even know what I wanted to do for a job, if I could do anything? I hadn’t ever really thought about it, but now, the prospect of tending to vineyards and making wine for the rest of my life seemed really unappealing.

Now, the thought of watching Greid—my unexpected shot at true freedom—leave alone and going back to the only life I’d ever experienced made me queasy. This was my chance. To be brave, but not so recklessly brave that I left with only the clothes on my back and the desperate hope that I wouldn’t end up homeless and destitute. To experience something new for the first time. To actually live.