Best Laid Plans: A Summer Camp Swingers Novel

“Seriously? You remember the uproar when the antediluvian types saw Leah and Susan for the first time.”

“Antediluvian,” Mom chuckled. “Nice word.”

“It fits. Some of those people don’t realize it’s the Twentieth Century. Do you really think they’re ready for shaved men too?”

“You never know. Susan has zero tolerance for anyone telling her how to run her own camp. Besides, I think she’d like it.” Mom shrugged and leaned against the counter to study me. “You’d certainly get more attention from the women.”

“Hold on, are you talking about the kind of attention I think you are?”

“Absolutely. Your dad gets it all the time.”

“What? Like, from regular women? Not swingers?”

“Mmm hmm. A few every year.”

“Regular women,” I repeated incredulously. “The kind with husbands and kids and normal sex lives?”

“Yes, that kind. They’re curious. Your dad’s almost six inches soft. You wouldn’t believe how many women ask if he’s a grower or a shower. And not just me; they ask him about half the time. Some do more than ask,” she added slyly.

I had to peel my eyebrows off the ceiling.

“Mmm hmm,” she assured me.

“Hold on, that’s a giant leap, from asking to… um…”

“To a blowjob, yes. But he’s surprisingly good at talking them into it.”

My jaw dropped.

“Most women don’t mind an erection. They’re married; they’ve seen them before. He shows them in private, of course, and he usually offers them the chance to do more than look.”

I closed my mouth but still couldn’t find any words for my astonishment.

“He never pushes it, but he’s willing to go as far as the woman wants, which is surprisingly far sometimes.”

“Who are these women?” I finally asked. “I mean, name names.”

“That’s the thing—I don’t know. He won’t tell me. It’s our little game. Sometimes I figure it out, based on body language, especially if the woman feels guilty afterward. Or if she enjoyed it and can’t keep her eyes off him. But most of the time they act like nothing happened, so I don’t have a clue.”

“And this happens on a regular basis?”

“Mmm hmm, every summer.”

“Two or three different women?”

“Yes, although it depends on how often he has to leave for work. Oh, and that doesn’t include his regular blowjob friend.”

My eyebrows rose. Again. I thought I’d known most of what went on behind the scenes at camp, but I was coming to realize that I didn’t have a clue.

“Mmm hmm. She’s been doing it for six or seven years,” Mom said. “He won’t tell me who it is, but he’s given me a couple of clues. She’s older than us, married, with grown kids. They’re not permanent residents, so she can’t be too much older. Her husband is average, a little on the small side. She likes something to ‘tickle her tonsils’ on occasion. That’s all I know for sure. I think I know who it is, but I won’t say since I don’t have proof.”

“What’ll you do if you get it?”

“Why would I do anything?” she asked, genuinely puzzled. “I don’t care if this woman wants a little fun on the side. It’s just a blowjob. Besides, he tells me about it. All the others too. Like I said, it’s sort of a game between us. And he’s very discreet. You’re the only one who knows besides me. And Susan, of course.”

“Of course,” I echoed.

“The women won’t say anything. Why would they? None of them are swingers. They don’t want to ruin their marriages, either. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have the same urges men do, for an occasional bit of strange.”

I blinked in disbelief.

“Mmm hmm. That’s why I said you should go to camp like that. You’ll get a lot of attention, probably from some of the same women. If you’re half as smooth as your dad, you’re practically guaranteed a blowjob or two. Probably more, since you’re younger and would seem like a conquest.”

“I had no idea.”

“Women like to fool around too. You know that. Besides, we don’t fit into neat little categories—normal, prude, swinger, slut—especially when it comes to sex. The same as men.”

“No kidding,” I said.

“You and me, for example.”

“How so?”

“Our… relationship.”

“Ah, right. I have sex with my mom, but I’m a pretty normal guy otherwise.”

“I used to think I was different, that something was wrong with me. But most people have ‘dark secrets.’ They’re not so dark or unusual once they see the light of day. And speaking of the light of day…” She gestured at my nudity. “Is there a reason you came out here like that?”

I grinned sheepishly. “What do you think?”

“My son, the exhibitionist.”

“The horny exhibitionist. I could say the same about you. I mean, why are you wearing that robe?”

“This old thing? Because it’s comfortable.”

“Not because it shows off your body?”

“Okay, you caught me. Sometimes showing a little is sexier than going nude.”

“Oh, I agree.” Christy had a whole drawer and an entire suitcase full of lingerie that did just that.

“Why?” Mom ventured. “See anything you like?”

“All of it.”

“What’re you going to do about it?”

“Tell you to get on your knees and blow me.”

Her eyebrow shot up. “And what if I’m not in the mood?”