Black Chalk

Mark spoke breathlessly about time being born in the instant of the Big Bang, other universes beyond the tails of black holes and how space was in fact composed of ten dimensions. To Chad it all felt like a high-speed thrill ride and you didn’t have to understand the mechanics of the vehicle, you just sat back and enjoyed the view, the new worlds blurring by beyond the windows.

And that’s when Chad realised Jolyon was right. Mark spent his life thinking on an entirely different plane to the rest of them and it was the immense weight of his thoughts that tired him out so quickly. Now the latest whirl of worlds was taking its toll. The creator of many universes was rubbing his eyes, apologising for yawning and stating that the time had come for his afternoon nap. ‘Thanks again for the cocktail, Jolyon,’ said Mark, raising himself wearily from the armchair.

‘I’m coming to get you again tonight,’ said Jolyon. ‘You’re not missing dinner again, not on my watch.’

‘Thanks, Jolyon,’ said Mark. ‘Forgive me if I put up a fight again,’ he said. ‘I’m a terrible riser.’ Mark left the room, stretching his limbs and scratching his head as everyone said their goodbyes.

Chad wondered if, when he left and headed home, he might find Mark curled in a quiet corner somewhere like the dormouse from Alice in Wonderland. Or like Alice herself, dreaming of extraordinary worlds beyond the ends of rabbit holes.

XII(iv) The three of them remained to discuss Game Soc.

They agreed they would sleep on the question of who the other players should be. But Mark would definitely be invited to fill one of the six spots. And Jolyon had no doubt Mark would accept. ‘You heard him. He’s desperate for something interesting to do.’

‘And how about Emilia?’ said Jack.

‘Oh, she’s great,’ said Chad.

‘She is, isn’t she?’ said Jolyon.

‘That’s five then,’ said Jack. ‘Why did we tell them six players?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Chad. ‘Six just felt right. Something to do with dice?’

‘We need one more then,’ said Jack and they all stopped to think.

But instead of thinking about a sixth player, Chad began thinking of Emilia, allowing longed-for scenes to loop and spool slowly through his favourite daydream.

XII(v) They had met Emilia while waiting in line for the cursory medical exam they all underwent before term started.

Jolyon and Chad and Jack stood together in the line. Mark came from the nurse’s room and as he passed by they asked him what the procedure entailed.

‘It’s pretty basic,’ said Mark. ‘An eye test, a stethoscope, one of those cuffs for measuring blood pressure.’

‘You mean a sphygmomanometer,’ said Jack.

Emilia turned slowly from her spot ahead of them in the line. Her look fell piteously on Jack.

‘What?’ Jack complained. ‘That’s just what you call it.’

‘And just what do you call someone like you?’ said Emilia.

‘Oh, so now I’m the arsehole for having access to a vocabulary, am I?’

Emilia responded with a single blink of her big green eyes.

Jolyon laughed. ‘I’m Jolyon,’ he said, ‘and this is Chad. And that one’s called Jack and I absolutely promise you he’s way better company than first impressions suggest. And you are?’

‘Emilia,’ said Emilia.

‘And what are you studying?’

‘Psychology,’ she said.

‘Psychology’s an amazing subject,’ said Jolyon. ‘I just finished reading some Fromm. I couldn’t believe how political he is. The guy’s a genius.’

‘So you’re studying psychology? I thought I’d met all the first-year psychology students.’

‘No, I’m studying law,’ said Jolyon. ‘I was just interested in Fromm.’

Emilia’s eyes narrowed and she cocked her head. And then she said, ‘You know, you’re one of the few people who, when I mentioned studying psychology, didn’t say, oh, so tell me what I’m thinking right now.’ Jolyon peered hard at Emilia. ‘Is something up?’ she said.

‘Oh, nothing. No, it’s just . . . you remind me of someone I knew for a short while.’

‘Someone good, I hope,’ said Emilia.

Jolyon seemed to slip away for a moment and an awkward silence fell over them.

Chad jumped in. ‘What made you choose psychology, Emilia?’ he said.

‘That’s a very good question, Chad.’ Chad felt the familiar heat washing over his cheeks. ‘I don’t know,’ said Emilia. ‘Perhaps that’s one of the things I’m hoping to find out before leaving here.’

XII(vi) While Jack drummed his fingers against his cheek, thinking through possible candidates for the sixth spot, and while Chad thought about Emilia and lingered in his daydreams, Jolyon was thinking of little else but Emilia as well. Or at least his thoughts began with Emilia. Because soon he began to think about his month in Vietnam, the American girl with the same white-sand hair, the same sea-green eyes. The similarity was striking. They could have been sisters. The same coral lips.

XIII