Black Chalk

When the party was almost over and the wicked witch had died for the final time, Chad hung his chin from the window. There were only six of them left in the room now, the six who mattered most to each other. The sound of deep voices rose up from the narrow street beneath, heads and shoulders making snaky paths along the pavement. Chad’s mouth felt as though it were wadded with something like muslin.

But in contrast to his stomach, his sense of well-being was immense. His Michaelmas Epoch. There would be no turning back. At last Chad was beginning to kick free of that half of himself from which he had always longed to escape. For better or worse

XXIII

XXIII(i) When I read over the last few chapters, I discover a note I must have left for myself. And when I come across this note, I look for and find my sneakers. On the white toe of one shoe in Magic Marker I write the word WALK. On the other toe I write NOON. As physical mnemonics go, this one should prove simple enough to decode. I place the sneakers beneath my lunchtime plate and think about my progress.

Everything is going so well. This morning while eating my breakfast I waved to my neighbour across the way. I even initiated the greeting. You see the strides I am making? My walks, my waves, this story gushing out from me freely.

And now my morning routine is complete, another chapter finished and I have drunk two of today’s four glasses of water.

XXIII(ii) Note to self: Must drink more whisky. Water is fine but a life-affirming slug of whisky always soothes the soul.

XXIV

XXIV(i) They entered the room in order, Tallest first, then Middle, then Shortest.

Usually they would attend the Game only one at a time. But on that first day, the first Sunday of Hilary term, all three of them made themselves present as if dignitaries at the opening ceremony of some international spectacular.

Tallest took the desk chair with wheels. Middle and Shortest stood stiffly against the wall like two scratches. Middle, from time to time, took a few notes but never seemingly at moments of great significance.

Dee had insisted on making a mixtape for the event – all the songs were humorously appropriate, she promised. The first track was ‘Every Day Is Like Sunday’, although Chad couldn’t see what it had to do with their game but for the fact they had decided to play on Sundays.

And so while Morrissey crooned away softly in the background about Armageddon, Jolyon opened the proceedings with something like a speech, a brief greeting and a hope for much enjoyment to follow. He made a small joke about their mysterious benefactors but thanked them as well. And then the Game began.

XXIV(ii) After the best weeks of Chad’s life, he and Jolyon had returned to the city soon after New Year’s Eve. Jolyon’s friends in Sussex all adored Jolyon. And as he was a close friend of Jolyon they all seemed to adore Chad as well. Everyone was interested in his opinions – as if, to have been chosen by Jolyon as a friend, you clearly had some of the most fascinating thoughts on earth. They ate most nights with Jolyon’s mother at a dinner table that never dimmed in its chatter, they went often to Brighton to buy second-hand books and see the Christmas lights on its pier, they drank whisky with Jolyon’s father, listened to carollers, read their books by the hearths of ancient inns, popped champagne at the end of the year . . .

The others had come back to Pitt a week before the start of term and they had all met every day in Jolyon’s room to agree upon the mechanics. It had to be a game never before played so that no one could gain an unfair advantage, they would have to learn and develop tactics on the fly. They could change the rules if they encountered problems, or if they simply wished to change them, but only if the majority voted through the changes.

They chose cards to represent skill and dice to represent luck. It was a hotchpotch of many of the games they had played growing up. Some rummy, some bridge, a little poker. Mark admitted sheepishly that in his earlier youth he had dabbled with Dungeons & Dragons and they based some of the dice-play on the rules from that game. Risk further influenced their thinking on dice, particularly the number of dice to be rolled, sometimes several. The Game also bore undertones of Monopoly and shades of Diplomacy and perhaps more games besides. It was the game of all games – this was how Jack had described the Game, largely sarcastically, but Jolyon had agreed enthusiastically.

Picture cards were strong and aces strongest. High dice rolls were useful to a player involved in a challenge with an opponent but not desirable when consequences were being rolled for.