Butcher Bird

"Truth is, I kind of always knew I was going, from the first time Cinders brought it up. But I couldn't admit it," Spyder said, spinning the Hornet from side to side. "There's an old Buddhist saying that whenever you ask a question, you already know the answer."

"I'm glad to hear you bring up the Buddha," Count Non said. "All that medieval Christianity that informs your descriptions of Hell had me worried. We can learn a lot from the Buddha. In Hell, you'll be all right if you remember his most basic advice: follow the Middle Way."

"All the books say that Hell's a naked roller derby on broken glass. It's nothing but extremes. Think there's a Middle Way down there?"

"If you're on fire, do you jump into the pool of water or the pool of gasoline? Even in the most extreme circumstances there's a choice."

"I wish I could see the place. Being blindfolded the whole time sounds like balls."

"That's the first choice you have to make. Is seeing Hell's decor worth being trapped for eternity?"

"I'd have to give that a big No," said Spyder. "How about you? How do you feel about playing blind man's bluff?"

"It's all the same to me. This won't be the first prison I've visited. I've been locked away in dark places. After a while, the darkness becomes a comfort and light is the stranger."

"You've been there, haven't you? Hell, I mean. You're dancing around the subject, but I have this feeling."

"My people have done business there."

"What kind of business?"

"It varied. I'm not proud of much of it."

"Why didn't you say anything when I was wanking on about it? If you know the place better than me, why didn't you speak up?"

"You were doing a fine job. I didn't see any reason to interrupt."

"Is there something you can tell me that I should know? Anything that can help us?"

"That's not permitted," Count Non said.

"What does that mean?"

"Hell is a place of extremes, yes, but extremes are relative. What's extreme for Spyder isn't extreme for me. Shrike's extreme isn't Primo's or Lulu's. The details of Hell are different for everyone. Telling you about my dealings wouldn't do you any good and might just confuse you. I wouldn't want to be the cause of you getting hurt. Or worse."

"You're killing me with tender mercies. There's nothing you have that can help us?"

The Count sighed. "I've been talking about it this whole trip, trying to prepare you. You're as ready as you're going to be. Remember the Buddha's advice. And don't ever lose heart. Hell is designed to drain lost souls of hope. Don't let that happen. We've already agreed that you're a fool and so far, despite a few bruises, you've been lucky. That's halfway to a hero. No matter what happens, what you see or hear or experience, be the fool that lives. That's my best advice."

"I was hoping for a magic helmet or something."

"Don't be afraid, little brother. The stars are on our side. When the moon points to the hellmouth, the underworld's defenses are down and all the gates are open. 'In that day the Lord with his sore and great and strong sword shall punish Leviathan; and he shall slay the dragon that is in the sea.'"

"You can talk some shit, Count."

Count Non tossed a stone straight into the air. As it arced down, Spyder tilted up the Hornet and ripped the stone to powder.

"There's airships over us," said Spyder.

"Angels, too," the Count said. "To the west."

"If your people did business with Hell, did they work for Heaven, too?"

"Of course."

"You aren't on the flying monkeys' side, are you?"

"You mean the Brotherhood and their angelic lapdogs? They can all kiss my ruby-red arse," said Count Non. "Would you prefer it if I was on the other side?"

"Both sides can blow me right about now," said Spyder. "I'm just jumpy is all. That Bible talk of yours had me wondering."

"It's a family habit and hard to break."

"You aren't a preacher or something?"

"My father is."

"I knew it."

"When the urge hits, perhaps I should switch to Greek."

"It couldn't hurt."

Forty-One

Vanilla Roses

"Is this the place?" asked Shrike.

"I believe so," Primo replied.

"Believe?" Spyder asked.

"A figure of speech. This is the place."

"What happens now?" asked Lulu.

"We wait," said Primo, "for the moon to move across the sky and reveal the location of the entrance to Hell."

Shrike crouched on the ground leaning on her cane. Spyder knelt down beside her. The desert night wind came in dry, frigid gusts. He shivered.

"Does this feel right to you?" Spyder asked.

"As far as I can tell, we're where we should be," she said. "We're in Primo's hands now. Is the moon up?"

"Been up for a while. That's what worries me. We might have missed it."

"We still have tomorrow night."

"We lost all our food and most of our water back at the OK Corral."

"Then, let's hope we still have a chance tonight."

"Can we start a fire or something?" Lulu asked. "The wind comin' off these hills is giving me some serious raisins."

Count Non shook his head. "That's not a good idea. Not with enemies overhead. They would spot even a small fire."