Captain Vorpatril's alliance

About to hotly deny any such absurdity, Ivan’s mouth opened and hung at half‑cock. “Well, er…in a sense. That is, that would be my father‑in‑law, my mother‑in‑law”‑he nodded variously‑“and my, um, siblings‑in‑law.”

“ All of them?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I know they don’t look alike. It’s kind of hard to explain…” He took a breath. “Yes.” He added after a vaguely shattered pause, “And my‑uh‑that lady over there would be my grandmother‑in‑law. My wife’s mother’s mother. Widowed.” Ivan was suddenly profoundly grateful for that. A wizened ghem‑general would surely tip this barrel right over.

Wait, no, this wasn’t the whole set after all. It seemed the eldest brother Eric was still missing, and a couple of the Jewels‑Ruby, and, what was the other one? Topaz, that was it. Maybe it wasn’t just jump‑lag and umpteen hours in Barrayaran detention that gave the Arqua crew that edgy, exhausted air.

The customs officer looked as if he was thinking hard and fast. Ivan eyed him uneasily.

Tej grabbed Ivan by the arm and towed him over to face the Baron, the Baronne, and Lady ghem Estif. Ivan was sorry now he wasn’t shaved and in uniform, instead of stubbled and in wrinkled civvies grabbed off his bedroom floor. Though he supposed it made him even‑all with the travel‑worn Arquas.

In a voice gone breathless and shy, Tej said, “Dada, Baronne, Grandmother‑this is my Barrayaran husband, Lord Ivan Xav Vorpatril.” As if she had several other husbands of various planetary origins tucked away somewhere…? “He’s not a lord of anything, though.”

The three elders swung piercing gazes upon Ivan. Their smiles chilled right down.

“Lily Durona had said as much,” said the Baron.

“It all sounded very odd,” said the Baronne.

“Not at all illuminating,” said Lady ghem Estif.

“The wedding was a bit impromptu,” said Tej, “but at the time it saved me and Rish from a world of trouble. I’ll explain later.”

The Baron’s heavy features lightened only marginally. It was the man’s height and broad build, Ivan decided, that reminded him subliminally and uncomfortably of Count Falco. And his edginess that recalled, even more uncomfortably, Uncle Aral in a mood. Yikes.

“How do you do, sir, ma’am, haut,” Ivan managed, belatedly grateful for every lesson in diplomacy his mother had ever tried to inflict on him. The last being the proper form of address to a haut lady, if a touch flattering to one culled and demoted to ghem. Lady ghem Estif’s silver brows rose in surprise. In any case, she did not offer to correct it. God, what next? I am pleased to meet you was a diplomatic lie of the first order, beyond his scope right now. His mouth moved on automatically to, “How may I help you?” Wait, no…

The Baron brightened a touch more, with a surprised glance under those heavy lids at his daughter. Right answer? “By all means, let’s find out. Pidge, come here.”

The woman in the flowing blue‑green trouser outfit stepped up alertly. “Baron?”

The Baron waved the customs officer forward. “Officer Mahon, I think the time has come for you to talk with our lawyer, the Baronette Sophia Arqua.” Pidge’s formal name and courtesy title, Ivan dimly recalled. “She will speak for our group.”

“Are you oath‑bound to practice law on Barrayar, ma’am?” asked Mahon stiffly.

Pidge smiled warmly across at him, eye‑to‑eye. “I am primarily trained in galactic law and trade law, with some experience in criminal law. I have made a special intense study of Barrayaran law in the past two weeks, however.”

Ivan wondered‑on Jackson’s Whole, how literally did she mean criminal law?

“The conundrum would seem to be whether we are still House Cordonah”‑she cast a nod at her father, who nodded back‑“and so due all appropriate diplomatic protocol, or whether we are Houseless persons, seeking asylum under the aegis of a Barrayaran Vor relative, and due all assistance as such.”

“That’s not nearly the only two questions…” Mahon, swinging toward the ImpSec lieutenant, held out a hand in either direction or plea, Ivan wasn’t sure.

Zumboti took a neutral pose, not quite parade rest, and observed to the air, “It is ImpSec’s mandate to secure the Imperium against threats of violence. I’ve seen none on offer here, so far. Strictly bureaucratic issues are not normally our department.”

What, was ImpSec giving its officers a short course in disingenuity, now? Probably.

Mahon rubbed his forehead, and muttered, “Two hours…” It took Ivan a moment to realize he was likely referring to his end‑of‑shift, when the day officers would be coming on. And, Ivan was reminded with a glance at his wristcom, when he was due at Ops. So would Mahon play this out till then, in order to dump it on his senior colleagues and escape? In any case, he looked marginally happier to be presented with a single Arqua to argue with, rather than all of them at once. And a gorgeous female, at that. A little weakly, he allowed Pidge to glow at him, take him by the arm, and lead him aside, bending her head to murmur at him in an intimate tone.