As I got older, I told her all my worries – when I was bullied at school when a teacher hit me, when my mum was ill. When she didn’t come back one day, we weren’t too worried as she did like disappearing, but the days started to add up and it was soon a week since she had been home. It didn’t feel right and I tried to make myself strong, thinking I would never see her again. I was right. I came home from school one day and my mum told me that my gran had found Molly’s body close to a main road. It seemed that she had been hit by a lorry. My dad carried her home and I thought my heart would break. I couldn’t believe that I’d never see her again, that I hadn’t say ‘goodbye’, that I hadn’t realized she was going to die. I just wanted to hold her one last time.
I missed her so much, and I vowed to love Oscar and Freddie even more. We moved house a few years later and the boys went to stay with my grandparents until we settled in. Although we were moving to the country with hills out our back door, and the North Sea and beach out the front, there was also a busy road. Freddie and Oscar stayed with my gran and grandad for a while as we built our new house – I wished they had stayed there forever, because within weeks of coming back to us, Freddie was run over I couldn’t believe it had happened again, and all the hurt I had felt with Molly came back.