Cat In A White Tie And Tails

“We fashonistos don’t say ‘yellow.’ It was a saffron full-pleated skirt, ’50s length.”

“Oooh, the hem at calf-level, so accessible and a potential carousel of swing.”

“Unfortunately, there was no dancing afterwards. The Misses Van Von Rhine and Kit Carlson—”

“They were there?”

“Along with their spice, which is the plural of spouse, as mice is of mouse, Nicky and Aldo Fontana. Nicky was best man, and Matt led his mother down the aisle to some organ music he’d recorded earlier.”

“The standard Mendelssohn wedding march?”

“The very unstandard Bob Dylan. That music did work well. It was slow enough I got an excellent ankle-level perusal of footwear.”

Louise nods judiciously.

“Unfortunately, from groom to best man to the eight Fontana brothers in attendance, the uniform was shiny black patent loafers.”

“Hard candy,” Louise agrees. “As chewable as stale licorice twists.”

“Not worth raiding the closet for,” I concur. “Speaking of which, my Miss Temple had chosen a toothsome gold silk sandal with an Austrian crystal ankle button—”

“Glittering baby balls! So Las Vegas. Much fun, if you can detach them from the strap.”

“Miss Temple could not find both of them just before the wedding. I was falsely accused of making off with it.”

“You missed copping such a prize?”

“My role of the day was ‘little gentleman.’”

“And you wore the white-tie collar to prove it. I hope that is preserved on film and photo. Why did you not grab such a classic toy?”

“I was busy in the wedding chapel making sure that all the soft sculptures were sitting up pretty.”

“You were napping!”

“I had a very active time in Chicago, Louise. Philip Winslow wore a black tux, but all the dudes wore faint diamond-pattern tuxes in shades of gray and silver and gold, with black satin lapels to match the side stripes in their trousers and white-on-white paisley ties. Regular ties. I was the only one in a bow tie. Apparently the Fontana brothers’ Gangsters franchise can supply party garb as the well as the limos to wear it in. They all were pretty duded up, considering this was a hurry-up affair.”

“Not from what I heard in your Chicago reports. Miss Matt Mama took some long and winding roads to snagging a decent mate.”