Chainfire: Chainfire Trilogy Part 1

Cara gestured back the way they had come, toward the grounds of the palace that was now Liberty Square. "Back there, when the revolt started, when Lord Rahl was wounded and near death, people didn't want to let you try to heal him. They were afraid that you would instead do him harm. I'm the one who told them to trust you. I understood the awakening you had gone through because I had gone through much the same thing. I was the only one who knew what you had come to feel about him. I told them to let you do it. They feared you might use the opportunity to take his life. I knew you wouldn't. I knew you would save him."

"You're right, Cara. We both care deeply for him. We both have a special bond with him."

"Yes, that's it. A special bond. Different, I think, than other people."

Mystified by what Cara could be getting at, Nicci spread her hands. "So you wish to tell me something?"

Cara looked down at her boots as she nodded. "When Lord Rahl and I shared that togetherness, I felt some of his inner emotions. Inside him he has a terrible, burning loneliness. I think that maybe all the business about this woman-this Kahlan-is because of his lonesomeness."

Nicci took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she wondered at the precise nature of what Cara had sensed in him. "I suppose that may be a part of it."

Cara cleared her throat. "Nicci, when you hold a man in your arms like that, and you have been — well, together in such a personal way, you come to truly feel what's inside him."

Nicci pushed her feelings farther back into the shadows. "I don't doubt that you're right, Cara."

"I mean, I just wanted to hold him forever, to comfort him, to keep him from feeling so alone."

Nicci stole a sidelong glance at the Mord-Sith. She was twisting her mouth as she studiously watched the ground. Nicci didn't say anything, waiting instead for Cara to go on.

"But I just don't think I'm the one to do such a thing for Lord Rahl."

Nicci cautiously framed her question. "You mean, you don't think that you're the woman who can satisfy — his loneliness?"

"I guess not."

"Benjamin?"

The woman shrugged. "That's part of it." She looked up and met Nicci's gaze. "I love Lord Rahl. I'd give my life for him. And I have to admit that lying there and having him in my arms like that made me feel — feel like maybe I could be more than just his bodyguard and friend. As I lay there in that bed, holding him close to me, I imagined what it would be like to be his.» Her voice trailed off.

Nicci swallowed. "I see."

"But I just don't think that I'm the one. I don't know why. I'm not exactly an expert in matters of the heart, but I don't feel like I'm the one he needs. I just don't think I could be. If he were to ask it of me, I would do it in a heartbeat — but not because I wanted it, exactly. Do you understand what I mean?"

"You mean you would do it out of your deep respect and caring for him, not out of your personal wish to be his lover."

"That's it," Cara said with a sigh of relief, apparently at having someone else say it aloud. "Besides, I just don't think that Lord Rahl feels that way about me. When I was sensing his feelings, when we were in each other's arms, I think I would have known if he felt that way about me, but he doesn't. He loves me, I know that much, but not in that way."

Nicci carefully eased out her own breath. "So — that's what you wanted me to know? That you think his loneliness is the source of his fantasy woman?"

Cara nodded. "Yes — but one more thing, too."

Nicci glanced down the street, watching men making their way to the stable. "And what would that be?"

"I think that maybe you could be the one."

Nicci's heart came up in her throat as she turned to see Cara staring right at her. "What?"

"I think you could be the one for Lord Rahl." She held up her hands to forestall any argument. "Don't say anything. I don't want you to be saying that I'm crazy. Don't say anything for now. Just think about it. We'll be leaving shortly and it will be a while until you can come to meet up with us, so you have time and you could think about it. I'm not asking you to sacrifice yourself for him or anything foolish like that.

"I'm just saying that I think Lord Rahl needs someone and you could be that woman-I mean if you felt right about it.

"I'm not the one he needs. I'm Mord-Sith, and Lord Rahl is a wizard. Dear spirits, I hate magic and he is magic. We just aren't right for each other in all kinds of little ways. But you have so much in common with him. You're a sorceress. Who could understand him better than you? Who could help him with every aspect of his life better than you?

"I remember back that night at camp, in the shelter, when the two of you were talking about the creative dimension of magic. I didn't understand half of it, but it struck me then how the two of you could talk so easily to each other and understand each other's thoughts, ideas, and meaning like no one else could. I remember being taken by how the two of you, well, seemed so right together.