Class Dis-Mythed

Immediately, several flunkies in matte black clothing ran around to do her bidding. Sergeant Pep-up's men suddenly sprang to attention and jogged off the field, leaving their opponents looking confused. Teammates picked one another up from the floor, and limped to the side where white-coated Pervish medics waited with stretchers and little black bags to have their injuries seen to. The monsters all went back to the sidelines. Some of them paused to have makeup daubed onto their faces by Pervects in white smocks carrying palettes and brushes. The spider lowered herself to the ground, where her

palps were shined by a couple of Deveels with buffing brushes. Tolk hovered around his fellow teammates, dispensing dogtor magik and sympathetic whines.

Schlein's resonant voice echoed over the darkened arena.

"And now, folks, a word from our sponsor, Caca Doodle Doo, the leading manufacturer on Perv of Realistic Doggie Doodle with Lifelike Odor that Sticks to Your Hands, a product of Edvik Enterprises..."

I didn't have time to remark upon the coincidence. I had more important things on my mind.

"Are you in charge of this entire enterprise?" I asked.

"Not so loud!" the Geek pleaded. "Come into my office." He urged me towards his bubble. I raised an eyebrow at the ladies. Tananda and Markie melted away into the crowd. Bunny attached herself to my elbow and accompanied me in.

I waited until the side sealed up, leaving us alone in the soundproofed sphere.

"Now," the Geek said, sitting down at his desk with his hands folded together on top. "What is troubling you, my friend?"

"It's very simple," I said. "I want you to halt this contest right now. It's off-balance, and people are going to get hurt!"

"I can't do that, old friend," the Geek said, regret written large on his ruddy face. "Danger is the name of the game. It spikes those ratings right through the roof. The sponsors love it."

"I'm going to spike YOU right through the roof," I growled. "Let me put it this way: I can handle the concept of danger. Sometimes it's fun, but only where there's a chance that I can win in the end—I prefer a good chance, but I'll take what I can get. But I have been observing this contest today, and I have seen good evidence that you are skewing the games to make sure certain teams are eliminated. That's bad, considering that your contestants come into this with the understanding that they have to play fair. That means they are expecting you to play fair, too. Right?"

"Er, I'm not really admitting anything, Aahz," the Geek said nervously. "You're not, not recording this, are you?"

I planted a hand on my chest. "Would I be as underhanded as you?"

"Frankly, yes," the Geek said. "I've known you for centuries, Aahz. You're doing some fine talking about fair play, but you haven't always been completely honest in your dealings."

"On Deva!" I bellowed. "On Deva, anything is fair if you can get away with it. If you want to play it by those rules, I can do that. You didn't get away with it. I saw you. These fine ladies saw you."

"A Trollop," the Geek scoffed. "A Klahd and a Cupy."

My voice dropped again. "You know who they are. And, I might point out, that the Klahd you are making fun of is a close relation to a very powerful man with important connections in the Bazaar and elsewhere. So, show some—respect."

I shoved him back in his chair with a thrust of magik, just to remind him I had it. "Now, I can go public with what I saw, and get your sponsors to yank their backing, or maybe you'll just have to stop interfering and tilting the odds the way you want them. I assume you have heavy bets standing on certain teams, and it would look very bad if those bets became public knowledge."

"I can fix everything!" the Geek said. My fist came up under his nose. He blanched to pink. "I mean, I won't fix it, I'll unfix it! I mean."

"You mean you're gonna make this a fair contest, don't you?" I asked, going from gravel-voiced to sweetness in mid-sentence.

"Yes! Yes! That's what I mean! It'll be even, I swear it! From now until the end, when the winner is declared, I swear, there won't be a single deliberate irregularity. Aahz, this is gonna cost me a lot of money. Can I count on you to keep it quiet, if I do what you want? Please?"

"All right," I said. I dropped him. The Geek scrambled up and beckoned to a third fetching Deveel in a very short skirt. She dashed into the bubble and put her pencil to her clipboard.

"Honey, here's what I want you to do..." He reeled off a long list of instructions. She scribbled notes. I folded my arms

as I had seen Aahz do so many times, and glared at the Geek to make sure he didn't back out on any part of his promise. "Oh, and get the lottery box, Honey. Bring it up here. I've got to—take a look at it."

Honey gave us a toothy smile and vanished.

"Is that all right, Aahz?" the Geek asked, wringing his hands together. "Is everything okay now?"