Class Dis-Mythed

The Geek sat up. 'You think this won't get lively? Watch how we do it. Special effects! Music! Lighting! And there's Schlein giving the live commentary. The man's worth his weight—er, a LOT in gold."

The audience was already chanting. "We want the champion! We want the champion!"

"You all know the rules," the Sittacomedian instructed the group. "As soon as the count is complete, present your hand. We're playing this for—sudden death!"

I gulped.

The Geek snorted. "That just means it's not a round-robin contest, Aahz."

"Oh," I said in a small voice.

"Ready—play!"

Spotlights chased around the floor, and sweeping orchestral music boomed up.

"One two three!" the Sorcerer's Apprentices chanted. Pinpoint spots lit their hands individually. Two were holding

paper. Three of the others were holding rocks. One had a scissors. Images of parchment scrolls, glittering gemstones, and one pair of gleaming shears overlay the students' hands. The shears attacked one scroll. The remaining parchment covered one gem. The other two gems moved to smash the scissors.

"Tolk, out! Freezia, out! Bee, out!"

BOOM boom boom, came from the drums.

"Three at once," the Geek crowed. "This is great."

I groaned with disappointment for the three students who walked, shoulders hunched, away into the darkness. The music struck up again, more tense than before. The Geek was right: it was thrilling.

The remaining three—Pologne, Jinetta and Melvine—eyed one another suspiciously. Melvine tried to fake out the others.

"One two—not ready," he said, drawing his hand back.

"Stop that!" Pologne snapped.

"We will go on three," Jinetta said firmly. "No hesitation. Ready?"

"Oh, all right," Melvine said sulkily.

"One two three!"

"Paper!" Schlein announced. "Identical choices!" Three rolls of parchment hovered in between the group.

"One two three!"

"Scissors!" Three pairs of scissors.

"Paper!" Three scrolls.

"This is remarkable," Bunny said. "The odds of all of them choosing the same item three times running is—"

"Nine hundred seventy-two to one," the Geek said, rubbing his hands together. "Hold on, I've got to get some action going on this."

He leaned over one of the crystal balls on his desk and started talking to the Deveel who popped up in it. I ignored the complicated negotiations as I watched my students eying one another.

"Rock!" Three gemstones twirled and threw colored lights on their faces.

"Paper!"

"Paper!"

"Scissors!"

"Incredible," Tananda said. "How long can they go on like that?"

"I want to assure you, ladies and gentlemen," the smooth voice of Schlein said, "that there is no collusion between these three individuals. What you are seeing here is unique in the history of Sink or Swim."

"Paper!"

"Rock!"

But even phenomena had to end sooner or later. Pologne stuck her hand out with two fingers parted.

"Scissors!" she cried.

"Rock!" chorused Melvine and Jinetta.

"Ooooh," said the audience.

The music rose chillingly. Pologne stared at her hand with an expression of utter betrayal just before the spotlight cut off, leaving her in darkness.

Melvine hunched over and faced Jinetta. "Just you and me now, doll," he said.

"Go," Jinetta said. "One two three."

"Rock!" Once again, they chose the same item. The audience was cheering wildly. The fireflies were drawing hearts, flowers and fireworks.

"Paper!"

"Scissors!"

"Scissors!"

"Rock!" Melvine shouted, shoving a fist into the light.

"Sciss—"Jinetta realized even before she finished the word that she had chosen a loser. "Scissors."

The orchestra rose into a triumphant fanfare. Schlein rushed over to grab Melvine around the shoulders.

"Congratulations, Melvine! You are the winner of Sink or Swim: Perv!"

"Me?" he asked, in a voice that rose to a squeak.

He looked dazed.

"Snap out of it, kid," Schlein hissed at him.

Melvine looked up at him in astonishment. Schlein beamed.

"Come on over here, Cupy. You're setting out on a whole new life. Tell all of us how you feel!"

For the first time since I had met him, the Cupy guy was lost for words.

"Well, sir, I promise I will do my best, uh, especially if I have my friends around me."

He glanced over at the team as the lights came up on the rest of the Sorcerer's Apprentices. Pologne and Freezia were sulking a little, but offered sickly smiles when the spotlights hit them.

"I'm sure you will," Schlein said.

Suddenly the two of them were surrounded by magicians wielding crystal balls to catch every angle.

"And, now, I want to bring out the woman who is the unseen presence behind Sink or Swim. Will you welcome the elusive, the marvelous, the very rich Mistress Montestruc!"

A narrow way opened to admit a tall and formidable-looking woman with thick auburn hair.