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“Not you, sir — but the department heads, frankly, yes. And that’s what I’d be doing next if I stayed in.”

“Believe it or not, Danny, being a department head can be fun too.”

“Like the navigator?”

The captain grimaced. “Come on, Danny. The nav isn’t a particularly good example. He’s at the end of a very demanding tour, five patrols as a navigator is a very long time.”

“It’s just…”

“So you’re afraid you won’t have as much fun as a department head? That’s the reason?”

“Captain, if you’ll read my letter, you’ll see that it’s not. I also wonder sometimes what we’re doing out here.”

“You don’t think what we do is important?”

“That’s right, captain.” Jabo felt ashamed to say it, but it was true. “We’re still running a platform that was originally designed to lob missiles at a nation that no longer exists. I feel like we’re just shadow boxing out here.”

“Listen carefully, Danny. Driving this boat and keeping it safe is important — maybe the most important thing you’ll ever do, certainly more important than chasing the next bonus at Microsoft.” The boat had lost their last two junior officers to Microsoft and it clearly irked the command. “And, if you don’t like our mission, get on an attack boat for your next tour — they’re in the fight.”

“Not really. I mean, I know they may get to go more places than us, support battle groups and ops like that, but it’s no different. Our enemies use box cutters now — you can’t really fight them with a nuclear submarine.”

Shields sat back in his chair and looked Jabo over. He was smiling. “Are you sure there’s nothing else going on here?”

The junior officer and his Captain looked at each other for a minute. Unlike the navigator, Jabo often felt like he had no secrets — it was something about the tight-knit community of shipboard life that he had never quite gotten used to. And, for the past six weeks, he’d had a big secret: his wife, Angi, was pregnant. If the captain had somehow intuited that pregnancy, than perhaps he had also intuited Jabo’s strong desire to not have a Navy family, to have his child be a Navy brat. He’d seen far too many screwed up families in the Navy, and no matter what he said in his letter of resignation, that was one of the best reasons he could think of for getting out. His wife was just starting to show the pregnancy on her slender frame, and she’d already entered the Byzantine world of military medicine, Champus, Tri-Care, and the navy hospital. Jabo wondered, as he looked at the Captain, if the secret was out.

“Captain, I’ve explained myself as best I can in my letter.”

“Okay. But I wasn’t kidding. I’m not going to accept your letter.”

“But—”

“I know, you’re worried about missing your twelve-month window. You won’t. I can’t tell you all the details right now, but we’re going to pull into port in a couple of weeks. If you still want to get out, I’ll endorse your letter then. But I think in the meantime you may see that it’s still possible to do some vitally important missions on a nuclear submarine. If I’m wrong, then I’ll endorse your letter and this will be your last patrol. Okay?”

Jabo nodded. He actually felt a sense of relief about not yet having his letter in, as well as a sense of excitement about learning whatever awaited them in their patrol orders. There’d been rumors, of course, especially with the sudden departure. “Okay, Captain. Thank you.”

“Thank you Danny — thanks for giving the Navy another two weeks.”

They looked at each other for another moment, Jabo waiting to be dismissed.

“You know, Danny, it is possible to raise a good family, to be a good family man,

and be in the Navy.”

Jabo nodded without saying anything. It was a discussion he didn’t want to have. The captain had a wife, and two daughters, and Danny couldn’t tell him that he thought they all suffered because of the captain’s chosen career. But moreover: he couldn’t do it. I can’t spend another sea tour away from Angi, he thought, another year where I see her more in my dreams than in real life. And if the captain asked him in response, don’t you think I love my wife? Jabo would have had to answer: I must love my wife more. It was the one vanity he allowed himself.

There was a firm rap on the door and the XO let himself in. He was agitated, and not in the bemused way he had reacted to the rumor about girl babies. Jabo wondered briefly if his resignation had bothered him that much. He dismissed that idea as the XO stepped back out and waved impatiently at Jabo to exit.

As they traded places in the captain’s stateroom, the XO said something about the Nav. He shut the stateroom door behind him.