Collected Shorter Fiction, Volume 2

‘You pity a beggar woman, but are not sorry for the King’s daughter!’ said they. But Iván felt sorry for the King’s daughter also. So he harnessed the horse, put straw in the cart to sit on, and sat down to drive away.

‘Where are you going, fool?’

‘To cure the King’s daughter.’

‘But you’ve nothing left to cure her with!’

‘Never mind,’ said he, and drove off.

He drove to the King’s palace, and as soon as he stepped on the threshold the King’s daughter got well.

The King was delighted, and had Iván brought to him, and had him dressed in fine robes.

‘Be my son-in-law,’ said he.

‘All right,’ said Iván.

And Iván married the Princess. Her father died soon after, and Iván became King. So all three brothers were now kings.

IX

THE three brothers lived and reigned. The eldest brother, Simon the Soldier, prospered. With his straw soldiers he levied real soldiers. He ordered throughout his whole kingdom a levy of one soldier from every ten houses, and each soldier had to be tall, and clean in body and in face. He gathered many such soldiers and trained them; and when anyone opposed him, he sent these soldiers at once, and got his own way, so that everyone began to fear him, and his life was a comfortable one. Whatever he cast his eyes on and wished for, was his. He sent soldiers, and they brought him all he desired.

Tarás the Stout also lived comfortably. He did not waste the money he got from Iván, but increased it largely. He introduced law and order into his kingdom. He kept his money in coffers, and taxed the people. He instituted a poll-tax, tolls for walking and driving, and a tax on shoes and stockings and dress trimmings. And whatever he wished for he got. For the sake of money, people brought him everything, and they offered to work for him – for everyone wanted money.

Iván the Fool, also, did not live badly. As soon as he had buried his father-in-law, he took off all his royal robes and gave them to his wife to put away in a chest; and he again donned his hempen shirt, his breeches and peasant shoes, and started again to work.

‘It’s dull for me,’ said he. ‘I’m getting fat and have lost my appetite and my sleep.’ So he brought his father and mother and his dumb sister to live with him, and worked as before.

People said, ‘But you are a king!’

‘Yes,’ said he, ‘but even a king must eat.’

One of his ministers came to him and said, ‘We have no money to pay salaries.’

‘All right,’ says he, ‘then don’t pay them.’

‘Then no one will serve.’

‘All right; let them not serve. They will have more time to work; let them cart manure. There is plenty of scavenging to be done.’

And people came to Iván to be tried. One said, ‘He stole my money.’ And Iván said, ‘All right, that shows that he wanted it.’

And they all got to know that Iván was a fool. And his wife said to him, ‘People say that you are a fool.’

‘All right,’ said Iván.

His wife thought and thought about it, but she also was a fool.

‘Shall I go against my husband? Where the needle goes the thread follows,’ said she.

So she took off her royal dress, put it away in a chest, and went to the dumb girl to learn to work. And she learned to work and began to help her husband.

And all the wise men left Iván’s kingdom; only the fools remained.

Nobody had money. They lived and worked. They fed themselves; and they fed others.

X

THE old Devil waited and waited for news from the imps of their having ruined the three brothers. But no news came. So he went himself to inquire about it. He searched and searched, but instead of finding the three imps he found only the three holes.

‘Evidently they have failed,’ thought he. ‘I shall have to tackle it myself.’

So he went to look for the brothers, but they were no longer in their old places. He found them in three different kingdoms. All three were living and reigning. This annoyed the old Devil very much.

‘Well,’ said he, ‘I must try my own hand at the job.’

First he went to King Simon. He did not go to him in his own shape, but disguised himself as a general, and drove to Simon’s palace.

‘I hear, King Simon,’ said he, ‘that you are a great warrior, and as I know that business well, I desire to serve you.’

King Simon questioned him, and seeing that he was a wise man, took him into his service.

The new commander began to teach King Simon how to form a strong army.

‘First,’ said he, ‘we must levy more soldiers, for there are in your kingdom many people unemployed. We must recruit all the young men without exception. Then you will have five times as many soldiers as formerly. Secondly, we must get new rifles and cannons. I will introduce rifles that will fire a hundred balls at once; they will fly out like peas. And I will get cannons that will consume with fire either man, or horse, or wall. They will burn up everything!’