Come to Me Quietly

I couldn’t comprehend it was already the beginning of August, these treasured days speeding past faster than I wanted them to. We’d been like this for three weeks now, sneaking in every second we could get with each other. Workdays were brutal because all I wanted was to be back in the confines of her room, to be back in those arms that were all comfort and seduction and torment. My perfect Siren because even though I knew destruction would come, I still stole into her room night after night, where I slept curled up to her after I’d sought sanctuary in her touch. Sometimes we didn’t get any further than a few hungry kisses and just lay with our legs intertwined, silent and nose-to-nose, resting together.

But it didn’t matter what night it was. I wanted her. Every fucking night I wanted to take her, to finish off what our bodies begged for. Just touching her was never enough.

I wanted it all.

My tormenter snuggled closer as I took the off-ramp and began to wind us up to South Mountain.

The smile that lifted one side of my mouth was unstoppable. I covered her clenched hands with one of mine. “You doing okay back there?” I yelled as I slowed and leaned into a turn.

“Perfect,” Aly shouted over the rushing wind.

I took us all the way to the top and pulled into one of the parking lots. Aly climbed off the back, careful to avoid the exhaust pipe. Before I let her get on my bike the first time, I’d drilled it into her head a million times over that it was hotter than all hell and would give her the burn of her life if she even brushed against it.

She unclasped the white helmet from her chin that she looked all kinds of adorable in, grinning at me as she shook her hair free.

Yeah, I’d fucking bought that for her, too.

God, I was in deep.

I pulled her in for a quick kiss and hooked my thumb under her chin. She beamed up at me. That thing that almost felt like joy rose up in me again.

That feeling had to be the most terrifying part of all.

“Come on, let’s go find a trail.” I took her hand and cautiously began to lead her down a narrow path. The rocky trail wound through thick desert brush, sparse trees, and overgrown cacti. The sky simmered with intense blue, the temperature so high heat waves sagged on the packed ground. We hiked down to a small overhang that looked out over the expanse of city that seemed to go on forever.

I tugged her from behind me and tucked her back to my chest. Slipping my hands around her waist, I secured my chin on her shoulder and pressed my cheek into hers. Held her close as I could get her.

For what seemed like forever, we said nothing, just stared at the beauty laid out in front of us.

“It’s gorgeous up here,” she finally whispered as she looked out over the horizon.

I nuzzled her neck, because that’s exactly what she was.

“Thank you for bringing me up here.” She ran her fingers over my knuckles, my hands splayed out over her stomach, locking her to me.

Aly sighed and sank deeper into my hold.

I blinked, trying to make sense of the thoughts that jumbled my mind, the words that fought for release. They sat on my tongue for the longest time, before they finally broke free. “My dad used to always bring me up here.” My voice cracked, but I couldn’t stop myself from speaking. “One day a month he’d plan some father-and-son day, pack us a lunch, and take me out somewhere cool… hunting or hiking or whatever I wanted to do. This was one of my favorite places.”

Why the fuck was I telling her this? And why did I feel compelled to bring her here? To share it? But I did.

“I remember that,” she said quietly. She released a small, wistful laugh. “I used to hate those days. Christopher and I would run up and pound on your door to ask if you could come out and play, and your mom would tell us you were with your dad.” She expelled a delicate snort. “It’s funny how we see things so differently when we’re kids.” She paused, before she admitted quietly, “It makes me really happy to know you cherished those days with him, Jared.”

My chest tightened as the wounds flared. I squeezed her closer and tried to stuff them back inside with all the other shit I’d let slip away. With the memories of what I’d ruined.

“Do you ever think of finding him? Finding your sister? Visiting them?” she asked.

With her words, the memories only thrashed and the anger surged.

“I ruined my dad’s life, Aly. He doesn’t want to see me.” Echoes from that last night flooded my mind. The circumstances had been blurred in the haze of drugs and alcohol and pain, warping and skewing his face, but there was no mistaking the disgust that had been written there. “He didn’t come to my sentencing… didn’t come to speak for me.” Not that I’d expected him to. “He stood aside and let them send me away, and there’s no going back.”

She paused, and her hands clamped down on mine. “What if you’re wrong, Jared?”