Come to Me Quietly

“Beautiful,” he grated from his throat. He took me hard and fast, then torturously slow, never looking away from my face as he tempted and teased, then brought me back to the brink. Our bodies pitched and strained, grasped and clutched.

“Jared, please… don’t… just… ”

He understood my plea. He quickened as he filled me again and again. “Aly, baby,” he grunted.

It hit me in a shocking wave, this blinding rapture that ripped through my core and erupted as an aching cry from my lips.

“Fuck… Aly… ” Ice blue eyes sparked like wildfire when he crushed his chest to mine, his hands leaving my hips to grip the counter. Jared’s movements were harsh and rushed, his body jerking, his breaths short and ragged.

I bowed as he came.

In the mirror on the wall behind him, I saw him as he struggled to catch his breath. His back flexed beneath the scars that wept where they bled, a pattern of despair, and I knew he could see me in the vanity mirror behind us. Through the two, our eyes met, almost hesitantly, the reflection like this illusion of us that went on forever.

Infinite.

Something like torment filled his eyes. He buried his nose in my hair behind my ear and whispered his praise. “Aleena.”

And I loved him.

I loved him with everything I had.

We stayed that way for the longest time, neither able to move, our bodies locked. My fingertips strayed, traced, and explored. They gentled over the flames on his right arm. Here, under the color, the skin was too smooth, but on the edges it gave rise to rough ridges that felt like hardened seams.

Jared sucked in a jagged breath, then released it in a slow hiss as I trailed down to the tortured eyes that writhed in the fire. I caressed them, my voice soft. “Is this you or her?” It was as if I could sense every nerve in his body fire, his brain only registering pain.

“Me, Aly. It’s me.” That pain bled from his mouth in bitter agony. “It should have been me.” His fingers dug into my sides. “I fucking tried to make it right. I tried.” The last fell as a breath of defeat.

I wanted to shake him, scream no, tell him how wrong he was.

I wanted to tell him.

He took my face in his hands and kissed me, his eyes squeezed tight. When he opened them, he acted as if what had just passed between us hadn’t happened. “You need to get dressed. Christopher is going to be back soon.” He leaned down and gathered up my clothes, handing them to me with a forced smile. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”

I nodded, swallowing down the emotion that constricted my throat. “Okay.”

He turned away and I watched as he climbed into the shower, this beautiful man who broke my heart and made it whole.

I quickly re-dressed. Vacillating, I paused, looking back to where he stood veiled behind the shower curtain. There were so many things I needed to say, but I had no idea how to get them out. I didn’t know if they would hurt him or heal him, if he’d run or if he’d stay.

I let myself out into the apartment, combing through my damp, tangled hair with my fingers. I barely had time to fill a glass with water before Christopher was unlocking the front door.

God. What was I doing? Keeping this from my brother? From my family? Keeping what I really wanted from myself? But how could I have him any other way?

“Hey,” Christopher said as he kicked open the door.

“Do you need some help?” I asked, setting my glass down on the counter and coming around to where he’d dropped the bags at the front door.

“Yeah, that’d be cool. Thanks.”

Leaning down, I gathered a few sacks and stood back up.

Then froze.

Blood drained from my face and flooded through my chest to squeeze my heart. It swept through me whole, leaving me weak in the knees. My attention locked on the two people mounting the stairs.

“Oh, good, you’re both here.” Mom was all smiles when she hit the landing. Augustyn trailed her two steps behind.

Tension twitched Christopher’s shoulders when he registered her voice, a subtle tic of his muscles as his eyes shot to my face. His panic was just as thick as mine.

Christopher rapidly blinked, then slowly stood up and turned around. “Mom, Aug, hey, what are you doing here?”

“We were running some errands nearby and thought we’d see if we could catch you two. Thought maybe we could go grab some lunch together or something.” Mom didn’t hesitate to take Christopher into a huge hug. “I’ve missed you.” She rocked them a little as she squeezed, then stepped back to hug me.

Aug and Christopher shook hands and clapped each other on the back. “Hey, man,” Christopher said, “how’s practice going?”

“Good… really good. Can’t wait for the season to actually start next week.”

Christopher kept glancing at me while he talked, as if asking for help, stalling. I could see him plead with his eyes. What do we do?

It was our dad Christopher had wanted to keep this from, the news that Jared was back and staying with us. But I wasn’t sure how Mom would react, either.