Confessor: Chainfire Trilogy Part 3

As he sat in the fading light, knees pulled up to his chest, listening to the ceaseless sounds of the enemy encampment out beyond the ring of wagons and guards, Richard heaved a despondent sigh. He ran the fingers of one hand back through his hair. He could hardly believe that Jagang had somehow captured Nicci. He couldn't imagine how such a thing could have happened. Seeing her with a Rada'Han around her neck made him sick.

It felt to Richard like the whole world was coming apart.

As much as he dreaded even considering the thought, it seemed like the Imperial Order was unstoppable. Those who wanted to decide for themselves how they would live their own lives were being methodically subjugated by the Order's uncountable followers, followers fanatically devoted to depressingly deluded beliefs, followers eager to enforce their faith on everyone else. Such a concept violated the very nature of faith, but that didn't matter to the true believers; all men had to bow and believe as they did, or die.

The believers in the teachings of the Order went where they wanted, when they wanted, slaughtering anyone in their way. They now controlled most of the New World as well as all of the Old World. The had even infiltrated far-off Westland, the place where he had grown up.

It felt to Richard like the whole world had gone mad.

Worse yet, Jagang also had at least two of the boxes of Orden. He always seemed to have everything well in hand.

Now he had Nicci.

But if it broke Richard's heart to see Nicci with the gold ring of a slave through her lower lip, once again the captive of a man who had abused her so terribly in the past, it made his blood boil to see Kahlan also a captive of that same man.

Richard was also deeply dispirited to know that Kahlan didn't remember him. She mattered to him more than anything else in the world-she was his world. But now she didn't even remember his name.

Her strength and courage, her compassion, her intelligence, her wit, her special smile that she showed no one but him, were always in his thoughts and in his heart and would be until the day he died. He remembered the day they were married, remembered how much she loved him and how happy she had been just to be in his arms. But now she didn't remember any of it.

He would do anything to save her, to return her to who she really was, to give her back her life-to have her back in his. But who she was, was no longer there, within her. Chainfire had taken everything from them both.

It didn't really matter how much he wanted to live his own life with Kahlan, or how much he wanted other people to be able to live their own lives. The people of the Imperial Order had their own designs for mankind.

Right then, Richard could see only a bleak future.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Johnrock scooting toward him. The heavy chain clattered as the big man pulled it across the hard, rocky ground.

"Ruben, you need to eat."

"I did eat."

Johnrock gestured to the half-eaten piece of ham balancing on Richard's knee. "Only half. You need your strength for tomorrow's game. You should eat."

Thinking about what was going to happen the next day only further served to tighten Richard's stomach with anxiety.

He picked up the thick piece of ham and held it out, offering it to Johnrock.

"I've had all I want. If you want it you can have the rest."

Johnrock grinned at his unexpected luck. His hand paused, his grin faltering. He looked up into Richard's eyes.

"You sure, Ruben?"

Richard nodded. Johnrock finally took the ham and tore off a big bite in his teeth. After he swallowed, he nudged Richard with an elbow.

"Are you all right, Ruben?"

Richard sighed. "I'm a prisoner, Johnrock. How could I be fine?"

Johnrock grinned, thinking Richard was just being funny. When Richard didn't smile, Johnrock turned serious.

"You got knocked in the head pretty good today." He leaned a little closer, lifting an eyebrow at Richard. "Not too smart of you."

Richard glanced over at the man. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"We nearly lost today."

"Nearly doesn't count. There are no ties on Ja'La. You either win or you lose. We won. That's what matters."

Johnrock backed away a little at Richard's tone. "If you say so, Ruben. But if you don't mind my asking, what happened?"

"I made a mistake."

Richard picked at a small stone half buried in the hard, dry ground. Johnrock chewed while he thought it over.

"I never saw you make a mistake like that before."

"It happens." Richard was angry at himself for making such a mistake-for letting his focus slip like that. He should have known better. He should have done better. "Hopefully, I won't make a mistake tomorrow. Tomorrow is the important day, the day that counts. I hope not to make a mistake tomorrow."